Let there be love.

2007-06-03T18:48:00.000+08:00

MOVED!

MYEs approaching!

2007-05-12T22:28:00.000+08:00

It's a little bit funny this feeling inside
I'm not one of those who can easily hide
I don't have much money but boy if I did
I'd buy a big house where we both could live

If I was a sculptor, but then again, no
Or a man who makes potions in a travelling show
I know it's not much but it's the best I can do
My gift is my song and this one's for you

And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world

I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss
Well a few of the verses well they've got me quite cross
But the sun's been quite kind while I wrote this song
It's for people like you that keep it turned on

So excuse me forgetting but these things I do
You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue
Anyway the thing is what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen.

hmmmm. haven't touched this blog for quite some time... life's been fine, same ol' stuffs been happening.

H1 mid years are approaching in like, 2 weeks time. OMG.
and like, i haven't really been studying whole-heartedly. OMG.
Instead, I've been spending excessive time and money on shopping. OMG.
I've splurged like a total of $280 on clothes just since the start of May. OMG.
Plus, i failed to get Gold for PFT this year because i missed by 1cm to get a C for Standing broad jump. short legs! :( OMG.

yeah okay. that's been all. i shall, attempt to study later.. OMG :(

colours seem to fade.

2007-04-27T10:54:00.000+08:00

i'm so in ♥ with this mango empire-cut silk dress, which was also featured in cleo! but i'm still thinking if $90's over priced for such a plain dress? hmmmmmmm. but it's so pretty!

okay, off to school now. school starts in an hour.. and im so gonna be late!

so surreal.

2007-04-24T22:31:00.000+08:00

MOS on Saturday night with chrissy pooooo & her friend eugene. crowd was good! not too packed, not too empty. (: tix were like at $23 for girls but we saved $23 + $41 the whole night cause me and chris had our ingenious plan (heheheh). super sly but super effective way of getting away paying for just 1 instead of 2 tix. plus, 1-for-1 jug of house pours. eugene was supposed to pay for us first but he got the funny (but clever) idea of sneaking off after we got our drinks, cos it was so crowded that the bartender might not even know. hah! and i was this close to getting drunk.. head was spinning even after the night ended, and i sprouted things in the cab home that i totally wasn't aware of! gosh. then stayover at chrissy's place.

school has been really monotonous. i cannot put in words how plain and bleak it is sometimes man... only thing great about it is the after-school activities! today, walked around town (as usual) with chris when we were supposed to "study"! and we caught 200 Pound Beauty in the evening! surprisingly very nice. (: sort of funny and touching...

and the weather's frigging cooling today.. and everyone's falling ill. hah. i'm having a dry throat, runny nose, and aching neck and joints. great.. ): my cheeks feel hot too. brrr.

TOI I HOPE YOU'RE FEELING BETTER

don't pretend you'll ever forget bout me

2007-04-18T22:48:00.000+08:00

school. is. depressing.

for a moment today when i saw a group of people in my class mugging and doing tutorials during break (when there isn't even any specific major tests coming up!), i felt like quitting school. i felt so shitty and stressed up, and i felt so mad at myself for being so lazy and not even touching my work like them. the work, the timetable, the tasks. argh. then i thought, omg i should've just not gone to jc in the first place. then again, if i've endured through this shit over a year, i might as well go through to the end. damn. moreover, jc's a stepping stone to the university.. i just hate the journey through it.

anyway, on a lighter note, i got my eyelet cutting shoes from isetan! sort of looks like the one from Miss selfridge which was almost twice the price. hah. usual shopping with chrissy, plus we bumped into kimchew! and she joined us. she's chris's childhood friend too. :)

kay, 'nuff said. shall try to do up math or chem tutorials now or something. funny how i dislike doing my tutorials in class and following through it during lessons. i'd rather complete em all at once at home instead la.

note to self: stay positive.. STAY POSITIVE!

way back into love.

2007-04-17T22:29:00.000+08:00

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past
I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but i just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

Oh oh oh

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end

the song way back into love from music & lyrics soundtrack! so romantic. :( it's such a sentimental piece, and so rare for a genre today.
gave school a miss today.. janelle gave me that idea. the periods today were quite useless.. hah. studied a little with her at changi airport.. haha not so productive but did some tutorials still lah, and loads of eating. shiat. haha. crystal jade bread shop's bread are damn nice. then down to town in the evening to meet bitch! (: got this F21 lookalike top for like a steal! yay shopping. gonna go arab street to get some chapalangs soon.

i only wish that there was more than that.

2007-04-16T22:21:00.001+08:00

.. and you'd only understand if you were in my shoes.

in need of, more more more more retail therapy, please! :( i've been burning ginormous holes in my wallet already. but who cares? if it makes me feel better. :) bitching and girly outings. whining and emo-ing. whatever it takes to keep me hyped up. it seems so hard to find my comfort zone now.. everything just feels foreign. there's something out of place. tsk. i think i think too much. must be my period.

the take over, the break's over.

2007-04-12T23:43:00.001+08:00

Hello, good morning, how you do?
What makes your rising sun so new?
I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new

So this is the way that I say that I need You
This is the way
This is the way

That I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

Hello, good morning, how you been?
Yesterday left my head kicked in
I never thought I could fall like that
Never knew that I could hurt this bad

I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

fluctuating moods. i knew it. my monthly period is coming. dinner at thai express plus 30 mins of shopping with bitch. (: she never fails to make me smile. dinner was brief but enjoyable, then we rushed down to marina sq by 9pm, only to find half the shops already closing! so we were like doing speed shopping, scanning thru stuffs in mango/zara/topshop/missselfridge/any-other-shops-unclosed as fast as we could. by 9.30pm most were closed! then camwhored for i-dont-know-how-long-but-i-think-its-2-hours! cos we left at 11.30pm.. gosh. i miss our adventurous Marina Bay picnic trips we used to have after school 2 years back. haha(: oh all the mad things we used to do..

speaking of giving school a miss, school has been rather boring, or should i say, depressing. i've to admit i think my PMS caused me to say some nasty things or make the wrong judgments.. but apart from that, sometimes i wish i could be more understood. but then again, i know your situation and how it's been coming. i should learn to be more independent, more reasonable, more receptive to changes, and, i don't know, just probably, expect less.

why goodbye?

2007-04-08T21:53:00.000+08:00

MOS yesterday with toi. preena and qian pangseh! i didn't know there was free entry that night.. so the crowd was like whoa...

and and and, my new cam i got today! in replacement for my Konica Minolta Xg which i accidentally dropped into the toilet bowl. yeah, dumb. Casio Exilim S770 in blazing red, which is like SUPER slim, and super hawt! love my parents. ;D

then lunch/ dinner at Vila'ge at heeren basement with badminton seniors and haowen. haowen came down despite having a bad tummy cramp! oh how i miss them man.

For one more day.

2007-04-05T22:11:00.000+08:00

school's been fine.. T35's considered quite happening. and yesterday, wanli, andrew and i ran outta school at 10am cos we had 2 hrs of break and were bored in school! so we had our break at Taka Crystal Jade. hah. satisfying indeed. and it's even more satisfying to be able to get out and back in to school without getting caught, despite the tight security. and anyway, been skipping lectures again. argh.... I NEED TO STUDY MORE.. ):

caught The Reaping with songyao and james today after school. haven't really hung out with them since last year! my gosh. the first hour of the movie was quite slow-moving, and i even slept, until the mid where things got spookier, and urm, way more gross! some effects were a little too fake. but wasn't such a bad show overall. it's a little like The Omen and The Exorcist combined..

sigh, feeling kinda cranky tonight.. i've been comparing how the way things are now, and how they were a few years back; and i realised, some things just change and can never be the same again? like, no matter how hard you try to alter or relive the good old times, there'll always be something different. different preferences.. different mentality and mindset.. different lifestyle... everything's changing.
everyone's changing.

Chadchan, July 2004 - April 2007

2007-04-02T19:38:00.000+08:00

T35 class gathering at Turkey's house at Tanah Merah on saturday. i love his garden and his parent's cars. my gosh! Mahjong plus Kings (something like Truth or dare?). damn hilarious. my mahjong skills were uber rusty (haven't touched the tiles since early last year!) but still managed to win a few sets. hahaha.

Down to PS to meet jaslyn after 109357438 years! (: i bumped into like so many ppl there all around the same area! first i saw qibin with his choir friends, then chris popped out, then joseph (that ex butch? i forgot her real name) walked pass, then saw my sis&david. all within a period of 5 mins. whoa. had dinner and all. and and and, it was a super last minute decision to stayover at my place! had loads of fun the whole night drinking, getting all hyper, and um, KTVing? oops. deprived people. We only slept at 4am and nua-ed the whole of sunday.

On a heavier note,
Chadchan passed away that afternoon. ): My mom saw her last breath. But well, i guess it was time for her to go anyway.. Got her since July 2004. Gotta admit she really has a long life for a dwarf hamster of almost 3 years? Most can't live up to even 2.5 years. My comp crashed recently so all my past photos of her are gone! ): booooo.
R.I.P. )))):

econs relief teacher

2007-03-31T11:08:00.000+08:00

(After irritating him by T35's nonsensical questions in economics)
Mr Li: On what level is this classroom?
T35 Jeff: 2.
Mr Li: SHIT.
T35 Jeff: Ya, so low, we jump down from here also won't die.
Mr Li: It's not you I want to throw down. It's I who want to jump down ah!
Mr Li: (Looks to the window looking in dismay) But then if i jump down from here I think I'll just fall and bounce back up to the 3rd level. Haiya..

HAHAHA. it's more funny when you see him saying it. plus, he is more to the plump side so it's kinda funnier when he said it!

Mr Li: (explaining some concept of economics)
T35: (not getting the concepts) Huh? Are you serious?
Mr Li: No..! I'm Mark Li, not Serious.

Mr Mark Li, some random econs teacher making up lessons for Ms Fan who's sick. i swear his jokes are really LAME.

anyway, some shots of last saturday, MOS.

I go up, I come down, and I'm emptier inside.

2007-03-27T22:59:00.000+08:00

There's gotta be more to life, than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me.

I wish we all could win.

2007-03-23T22:24:00.000+08:00

Have you ever felt lonely in a crowded room? I know I have. quoted from qians. i find it makes alot of sense to me..

Sigh, I'm totally worn off.. I've PE and CCA on the same days once a week... A few more of such days and I'll just die. 21 track rounds + push-ups + star-jumps + sit-ups + hockey drills (all done within a 7-hr period) = crampy legs. We had mass PE today, so we ran like 8 rounds and did physical drills. wanli, janelle and i actually planned to run away during PE but ended up running. then we thought of cutting ourselves slack and running less rounds cos we're supposed to count the rounds ourselves, but i ended up completing all 8 cos no one had finished when i did my 7th round and it would look so fake..
then, i did 10 more rounds for CCA after school, plus 3 rounds of sprinting with timing. my gosh! please tell me how i got through all these still alive. i still had the energy to meet chris in town for a lil shopping at the night..

by the way my class is getting better.. opening up and stuff.. dota outing yesterday.. i'm glad 3 of the girls went as well. then dinner at Funan's Ajitsu Ramen with Andrew, Jianwei, Qinghao, Jeff & his gf. funny la, they keep jacking Qinghao. and another thing, i dislike my chem teacher! she's a witch. ):

okay i need to sleep.. out.

"This is where we fight. This is where they die."

2007-03-19T19:11:00.000+08:00

watched 300 on saturday. GOOD STUFF! everyone should catch it. i thought the story was kinda lame at first, but overall it sort of touched me quite alot. All about sacrifice and fighting to the end. Plus the fighting scenes were darn good.
and DON'T watch History Boys (3/5 star rated movie?!). hahah. unless, of course, you can understand an artsy film, or you're just really tired and wanna have a little nap in the cinema and just have too much money with you. (: i learn we shouldn't really trust movie ratings. haha. i can never appreciate an arts film, even when it has frigging 5/5 star ratings (recalls the artsy film Before Sunset). My gosh!
in the meantime, loads of good shows are coming out by april! yay yay yay.

T35 came in 1st or 2nd among 9 classes for dragonboating race today. we only have 8 guys and twice as many girls but we managed to beat a class with twice the number of guys. whee. we've all done a great job man. speaking of which, some of us are quite disgusted with this person's behaviour. i so dislike whiney snobbish attention seekers! eww. ):

i need a miracle.

tonight my heart is cold

2007-03-17T00:05:00.000+08:00

I'VE TAKEN OFF MY BRACES :D but no one seems to notice! >:O haha everyone says they can't tell the diff when i'm wearing em and when they're off.

i can't believe March hols are ending soon! i couldn't even feel it coming! omg. it's already saturday but i forgot how i really spent my whole 5 days.. argh. loads of nua-ing at home though.. kenghee's belated birthday celebration on monday with MI usuals. steamboat near my house!

Then IG33 outing at harbourfront. kind of like the first real one i've gone to.. i was so hungry before meeting em for dinner that i forgot to save my stomach! ate like shit at the steamboat.. haha. they had dim sum at harbourfront centre, then went down to vivocity for Ben&jerry's treat. hah. ig33 rocks. it's quite cool how they're still organizing outings when the new intake's here (though i gotta say we ALLl admitted our 2nd ig was horribly horrible). pics taken but haven't got em.

Dreamgirls with my sis on one of the weekdays. i came out of the cinema with sore ears i swear. it's alot like some musical, plus, Jennifer Hudson's voice was a little too loud and high. gosh. it was so piercing to the ears. and beyonce's damn hot.

HIGH and retarded. :) Chris, Yvette, Qians, Preena. (Preena not in pictures!)
Gotham/ ClubMomo/ MOS.

check out our mad faces

kay that's about it. oh yeah, shopping trip with old bestfriend today! we still have loads of common topics to talk about. yay.

O2

2007-03-10T14:56:00.000+08:00

Chris & Nat officially turned legal on wed!! haha. it sucks when 2 of your good friends have the same birthday and you have time constraints. you don't know whose to celebrate! some of us T34 people shared to buy chris her faux chloe paddington bag which she has been looking for. she better carry it out everyday. haha. Nat's 18th birthday celebration on wed at sakae after hockey with the clique! had sushi buffet, then we all presented our birthday gifts to her. nic's one was so touching!! :'( nat's boyfriend was so sweet, he came in as a surprise.. haha should've seen nat's reaction. it was classic. that night was filled with sushi, laughter, lingeries (haha) and ice-cream cakes. wooo. our first legal baby in the clique. hah.

for now, it's goodbye T34, goodbye T08, and hello T35.

orientation 2, since wed, was prolly a disaster for the first intakers. it was so horrifying that my fellow closer T08 classmates decided to mass skip together on the 2nd day.. err, like 9 of us? weilin, wanli, yuiwing & i went over to get our MCs in the morning at sengkang polyclinic.. i still don't understand why there's always this morning crowd! goodness. after that, weilin & her friend went back to st nicks while the other 2 came to my house! haha we planned to take a snooze but ended up watching Grey's Anatomy and using the comp.. then by afternoon we made our way down to cityhall where jeannie & gareth came, then had lunch. we then met up with yongliang at suntec. zomg i miss his pervertic nonsense! lol. he's going to poly.. talking about missing, waritta has made it to ACSi!! happy for her, but i'll miss her man. :( by evening, it was left with jeannie, yuiwing, wanli & i. dinner at raffles place cafe cartel where i finally learnt how to play Bridge! hahah suaku, i know. it's addictive.

yday we got broken up to our classes. damn happy, 6 of us who opted for the same combi, wanli, clement, gareth, melissa, natalie and i, are staying in the same class! but i'm still trying to get used to the others in the new class.. doesn't look very nice at first impression. :( and we gotta stick together for 2 years so it matters if your class rocks or not. sigh! i got so moody that i became super anti-social that day. plus, wanli & i totally did not take part in any of the games. hah.. cca after school. so many new people in hockey. heh.

headed to far east subway with clement & wanli in the evening. coincidentally we met our new classmate jeffrey, who joined us. clem left for rockafella while yuiwing came after his KI test! and funny as it may seem, the 2 guys clicked immediately. hah. anyway, jeff's quite nice, AND sky-high tall. at least from that first impression.

well okay if anyone has successfully read finish this whole monotonous entry, then they must seriously be bored. haha.. geesh. anyway march hols are here. wheeeee. till then!

maybe i won't look back.

2007-03-04T22:42:00.000+08:00

today, went out with the old usuals! met qibin and songyao at ps, then toi and lester came awhile later. i so miss the old times when we used to gather at ps and play dota or movie! those times last year after promos.. we went down to Speedy to play 2 rounds before heading to Heeren for Sakae sushi dinner. :) song left for his own dinner. then yeah, walked around shopping.. toi and i both got a top from Queen's Couture. hah. and we were supposed to shop for someone else. i seriously need to quit being so spendthrift. i sell clothes, save money, then spend them. !! and worse, there's no end to this! omg.

anyways, i miss T34. :(

I'm wanting more
I'm always waiting on something other than this
Why am I feeling like there's something I missed..?

never enough.

2007-02-27T22:37:00.000+08:00

if there's any word to describe life now, it has to be Monotonous. oh, today me, wanli & emily skipped chem lecture cos we thought it was boring and pointless to go.. unlucky enough, mr tan happened to pop by at the lecture and discovered that we 3 prominent students were missing-in-action. he caught us in the library but he actually let us off! he just told us to fill up the lecture notes by the end of the day and show it to him.. we even had an interesting long friendly chat with him after school (with loads of hot teacher gossips and life talks). zomg i felt damn bad luh! we've always been making use of him to get away. booo. :( guess we ain't gonna skip again! town with the 2 girls after that to take shots for our econs project.

today i have been thinking about motivation in my daily life. i find myself not trying my best in everything i do, and not because i'm always so lazy to put my best foot forward, but in fear of facing disappointment. i guess that's something that has always affected me a great deal. when you have done your best in something, you'll automatically expect the same level of satisfaction in return; just like how you reap what you sow, or get what you give. But many a times, sadly, it doesn't turn out the way you want them to. it's such a shitty feeling to have your expectations up so high, then when reality shakes you and you don't receive what you hope to from your efforts, it just brings you right down. perhaps that is why i usually do not want to try so hard. when you expect the outcome to turn out bad cause of your minimal effort, and it turns out like it's said to be, it doesn't hit you so hard. or even better, the joy you get when the outcome turns out way better than expected..

such controversies in life, they're never enough. geesh, i worry and think alot.

sister's outing day on sunday.. no one ever really believes we're sisters. haha. i still don't understand how afew can say we look alike. anyway i got my favourite fossil watch i set my eyes on that day! wheeee. love it.. got a shoe too. my 4th pointees with heels. (of which the 3 others give me a friggin hard time with them on).

It feels like the stars are getting closer and the sky is closing in
And I don't know where to begin
We're all looking for something to take away the pain

dealing with unavoidable loss and moving on.

2007-02-25T12:20:00.000+08:00

THE GUARDIAN. Ashton Kutcher & Kevin Costner

(Jake tattoos his deceased friends' initials on his arm)

Ben Randall: (refering the the accident that killed all of Jake's friends) I've read the report Jake. Your blood alcohol level was zip that night. I'm guessing there was a flip for designated driver, you lost.

Jake Fischer: I guess that just makes it all go away, huh?

Ben Randall: No, it doesn't make it all right, it just makes it an accident. At least that's how it reads. You were 16 years old Jake. I'm not your priest, but if I was I think maybe you deserve a pass.

Jake Fischer: You're giving me a pass? You think you know everything, with your psychobabble bullshit. Why am I here? Why are you here, huh? You're too old to be doing this, you washed up here. You don't want to be teaching a bunch of kids in a pool, am I right? I don't give an eff what you read or who you talked to. You don't know about me. I have me under control.

Ben Randall: I can see that. The only difference between you and me is that I don't wear the ones I lost on my arm. I know where you're at, Jake. I'm there myself. I ask myself everyday why I was the one who survived.

Jake Fischer: And?

Ben Randall: And if I can't answer that for me, I'm certainly not going to try to answer that for you. Have a seat. I want you to start being a member of this team. The team you have now. You have a gift, Jake. You're the best swimmer to come through this program, hands down, by far, and you've got a whole record board to prove it. But you know what I see when I look at it? I see someone fast enough who's going to get there first. I see someone strong enough who's going to last. I see someone who can save a life maybe no one else could. You really want to honour the initials on your arm? Then honour your gift. Save the ones you can, Jake. The rest, you've got to let go.

partaayyyyye

2007-02-20T17:49:00.000+08:00

Shodown @ MOS!
chaotic and crowded like crap but things became better by 3am.. didn't expect a party to be going on. some unglam pictures we took at 5am right after all that drama. yeps, with smudged eyeliners, oily faces, cigg-smelled bodies (eew) and mad hair. but please remind us not to go on public holidays ever.

... and don't ask me why i look so mentally deranged here.
here's Alex, chris' new friend we met from last week, & also ambassador for whosgoing.sg. he got us in for free!

chris, mel and i were talking about how different people are from when they club and in real person. similar to ourselves, we're just a group of harmless single girls craving for some fun. and of course, in the process of doing so, we portray ourselves as slutty (?) and wasted (?). so like, no matter who we meet in the club, their impression of us is stereotypical. but that's of course not what we are. like, look at our everyday lives; we buff around like goofballs, roll and giggle, and guffaw at the slightest things. HAHA what the hell. sad but true. as long as we club, we're constantly being wronged by the public.

CNY photos up soon! so far collected a total of about +/- $450 worth of red packets. my julius&friends watch, wait for me.

ok bye.

V DAY

2007-02-16T11:35:00.000+08:00

V day celebration with the clique at Vivocity Marche on the eve of vday! nickee and beryl weren't there. :( no pics avail yet but yah. it was fun! we had gift exchange. i baked em the most poisonous cookies ever (which tasted like choco bread instead.) lol. then we talked cock like how we used to do, till it was late.
Reached home at like 10 odd, where i had to rush to bake the second batch of cookies for cjc people. this time, the cookies turned out a little weee bit better. i baked like 90 odd cookies in total of 30 packets.

on Vday itself! gifts exchange amongst T08 as well. they're so sweet. we also revealed who our angels and mortals were, and drew another round of that game. and i didn't have the chance to give to some of the 2T34 people so i gave other people the remains, and went home and ate the 3 packets left up. :(

at night was the highlight. met up with fellow singletons chris and mel at clarke quay at about 10pm. club hopped like mad! it was so rushy and exciting. :D

first stop we got to Attica and left our bags at their free bag-drop area. toured inside (crowd was few) so we went over to Gotham to check out and get our chops first. and we managed to catch a Strip show by some guys from Johannesburg. zomg! their bods were like whoa but the show was frankly quite gross for us young people to handle. lol. the crowd there were very matured, so we just went over to Club Momo. crowd was better there and music was quite good. we had to choose celeb tags at the entrance area and put em on your backs cause there was gonna be a game halfway thru the night.

Chris got Catherine Zeta Jones but she accidentally crumpled her tag! camwhored in the toilet.
Oh and our first sign of insanity started in the toilet.. the drinks already were taking effect on us. haha. stayed there for quite sometime before chris friend drove us to Zouk.. it was like full house there but we managed to cramp up and stay in for awhile. the Mambo tunes were gooood. then it was funny cos we kind of sprinted out of there after awhile cos chris and mel were running away from 2 psycho guys who were waiting outside the toilet. hilarious but damn funny. we got a cab right outside and we turned back only to see one of the guy behind the cab staring back at us. OOPS. ;D

went back to clarke quay area and we got to MOS. <3 my all-time favourite! crowd there was good. so we stayed there the longest and hung out at Smoove room. and i had an encounter with Mr Strong. shan't go into details. hah! felt quite bad, but nevermind. it was still quite freaky.

everything ended at 5am and we 3 tired sould dragged our butts back to joel's place where we bathed. arthur was sleeping there as well. we left the place by 7am and headed to school. yeah you can imagine. not having to sleep the whole night and going to school groggy and all. me and chris were sleeping like almost in all the lessons. i looked very murderous with the smudged eyeliners and dark eyerings i swear. haha but it was damn fun la. the challenge of staying up all night plus heading to school straightafter..

So since I'm not your everything
How about I'll be nothing? nothing at all to you
Baby i won't shed a tear for you, I won't lose a wink of sleep
Cause the truth of the matter is replacing you is so easy

T08

2007-02-08T22:11:00.000+08:00

this is probably the first longer entry i'm blogging about T08. sakae sushi at heeren with the class today after school! probably our first official class outing, after so long. here's Mr Mayo-Man. wanli's creation-- made of ginger, tempura tail, mayo, japanese light sauce and wasabi. ooh exotic. he freaks me out though, like a replica of the Halloween pumpkins.

our table! the ala carte people. haha.
1T08 outside heeren with jonatan, our class flen cum rebel, aka form teacher. he came to eat with us too!
after lunch, some of the class people went off while the rest of us went to monstercue. the guys played pool while the girls slacked around. basically just waritta, jeannie, wanli and i. then by evening, more went home and gareth, yuiwing, clement, wanli and i went to ps starbucks to CHILL. and i thought the term "chill" was only used by toi and i. now "chill" is like t08's favourite slang cos of yuiwing. hah.

i didn't go for ig33 outing in the evening at Prata House! i told anne i was going but i pangsehed! to think i dislike to be pangsehed! eeeyer. bad jo. but i was damn full from the sakae, and i was damn tired i don't know why.. plus thompson had no straight bus home for me. :( boohooo i suck man. :( grrrr.

anyway, back to starbucks. we played the most lame Truth game i've ever played i swear. we got questions from yuiwing and clement like,
"will you ever get a Class 2 car license?"
"how old is the youngest person whom you've seen killed someone?"
"how much does your shoe costs?"
"if you murdered a person, how will you do it?"
"how did you kiss Mary (was a random unknown name!)?"

haha like OMG. what kind of random dumb questions are they! we were laughing our asses off man! anyway, i realised as days pass that there's so many nice people in my class.. i'm starting to feel more comfortable with them. ohwell! i hope most of them stay. roars.

anyway, O levels results will be out tomorrow.. i feel quite nervous for them.. the feeling of receiving the results is still so vivid!

I wanna run, but only far enoughto make you miss me
I wanna take back all the shit that I have done
But I guess you were better off without me

cross country

2007-02-07T21:59:00.000+08:00

cross country today. all was well. :) running competitive wasn't that bad.. i think our timing was like 25 mins or something. didn't hear properly.. waritta has this nice nice ex-crescent teacher who drove to cjc to pick up our belongings while we went macritchie. :) and even delivered them to us at macritchie after our run. how nice!

dinner with the ex-class. we all went to rachell's boyfriend hanqi's house at Adam Road to collect their bags cos they left it there. omgggg his house is freeeaakkkiinnnggg huge!!! there's like a swimming pool, pool table, home theatre system, jamming room with drums and stuff, 2 maids, and like about 7 to 8 bedrooms of probably 1.5 a size of a classroom. i felt like i was in a palace. i shall start investing on my dream house now. hahah. went down to adam food centre after that.. then down to town with lester and arthur.

had a short emo talk with lester in the bus. life feels meaningless? i asked. he asked me if i haven't set goals in my life, cos that may be the reason why i feel that way. but i mean, isn't everyone's goals the same in life? the dream to have good results and get a successful job, and settle down with their loved ones and live happily ever after? we all crave for the same comfort, the same feeling. the mild difference is just what jobs we wish to do, who we may want to spend our lives with, and how long it takes for us to achieve that same dream. some will take forever, some will just need to take a small step and they're there at it. ultimately, it's still the same... just feel as though the journey we take towards achieving this goal is so long and hard. gimme some motivation, anyone?

ok anyway, T08's getting better! class outing tomorrow.. the class is starting to open up and get better and we might have to separate again. always the case, isn't it? hah..

weekends. the best days of the week.

2007-02-04T21:33:00.000+08:00

i find weekends my only reward for enduring the torture in school every other day.

for a start on saturday, met chrissy, joel, arthur, and 2 of their friends, coburn (unique name right) and shaun. we went to play DOTA at Speedy again for the first time this year!! damn happy. like reliving the memories of last year! i had missed that ps-to-paradiz route so much. we played one complete game before heading back to ps to watch some thai horror movie called The Unseeable. for some reason or another, i wasn't expecting alot from the movie. it turned out to have an unexpectedly sweet story behind it, with a slight pinch of eerieness. there were certain shock scenes but overall it wasn't that scary... toi is weird. she watched it before me and thought that the show was one of the freakiest she's seen; and to think we used to watch many other horror films together and i used to dig and hide behind her while she'll calmly watched the show. i thought The Unseeable was more of a joke. hahah.

today, went with my niece and ruoling to vivocity, then my sister joined us at marina square. woosh! got a tweed pink, grey, white & black designed pinafore dress from Forever21 for part of my CNY outfit. damn happy! it was the last stock there.. shopped around and yeah, bought some other little accessories.

more to life

2007-02-02T21:32:00.000+08:00

i've finally watched Blood Diamond on tuesday after so long. haha. met fernie and we caught it! glad we met up. we haven't hung out for so long! loads of laughter and crap, plus camwhoring outside vivocity. (: anyway, conflicts over diamonds are so cruel. :( it's so stupid to shed so much blood just for some stupid stones!

school's been peachy. alright how do i describe that anyway? missed school yesterday with toi! we dragged our sorry asses to town and then stoned for awhile at far east's burger king at the unearthly hours of the morning. haha.

we went over to toi's house after awhile to take a nap, but changed our minds and went to play badminton at her indoor squash court instead! heee. played and talk about lots of school stuff. then she kinda lost her Tiffany&Co necklace she got for a gift. freaking ex! but we found it after like an hour of seaching. met arthur in the afternoon to get his damnnn nice lacoste shirt (cos i chose it!). then ryan & chrissy came too! dinnered then went home with chrissy.

missed hockey training today cause preena was too lazy to go and toi was unwell. zomg. and went town with preena & qianyi. haha we just walked around and sat at coffeebean to talk rubbish. was fun though! recalled the MI days and comparing both the campus (preena was from MI tohtuck and qians from MI bartley). and we concluded that toh tuck was much better. then met bay to actually catch the Clap! event at FEP.. but the event was kinda boring today. lester came down too. headed home after dinner.

anyways, my hair is getting more straight again! but am gonna do a free retouch soon. my class is getting slightly better. having this angel/ mortal game and the respective angels will reveal themselves to the mortals on Valentine's Day. wowee. yes, that awfully dreadful day! not? i've a date with the single mamas. lol.

tell me what is this thing that i feel like i'm missing,
and why can't i let it go?

curly stuffs!

2007-01-29T22:51:00.001+08:00

i had my hair done yesterday with digital perm at clementi together with mummy who did her own adult perm. hee. the perm costed $150, plus $48 for a hair product. ain't sure if that's supposed to be expensive or darn cheap but ohwell. my mom thought it was over the budget! anyways i kinda like the change, after having straight volumeless hair (which everyone mistakes of it being rebonded!!!) all my life.

nothing much happened today besides pe being the highlight. we ran 3 rounds around and out of the school by the PIE highway which was approx 9 rounds around the track(?). that workout perked me up since the whole day was just long, draggy, and practically dull. timing wasn't that bad. yeps, the longest day of the week, ending at 5pm. the weather made me even more sleepy! after school, headed down to far east to meetup with some of 2T34 people. wheee. ate and then the guys played a little of pool before heading home.

feeling kinda sleepy now (again). i've been snoozing all around school today, wonder what's wrong. zzz. and anyways, i'm desperately finding for the 2 cartoon films: The Swan Princess, and, Little Nemo- Adventures in Slumberland!! roar! i wanna relive my childhood days. those were like one of my favourite films. :)

Let's spend tonight on top of the world
And we can do anything, we can be anything
I'll meet you tonight on top of the world
As real as it seems, you're only in my dreams

but it's just the price i pay, destiny is calling me.

2007-01-27T12:22:00.000+08:00

"I was just watching a news report on lung cancer & I suddenly feel very angry. On that report there were parents & wives & relatives crying because they lost their familes to lung cancer or are helping them fight it.
& then I think of all the selfish teenagers now who smoke their lungs out simply because they "can't help it" or because its "cool" or because they enjoy it, or because they are too upset in life so they have to resort to smoking."
quoted from sheila's blog! how true! arghs.

anyway. life's been so-so.. the only thing that perks me up and brings me out of reality is toi's goofyness. the different slangs of "chiilll", "mop", "nancy" and what nots. heh. i think she is seriously worse than me now!

school days end at like 5pm, or if not 4pm, if not, 1pm but with hockey trainings (so still end at 6.30pm anyway). thursday is my only slack day when i end at 2pm or 3pm (and that's not even early). hah. i wanna catch so many movies but i dont have the time to.. and watching movies on weekends are so not worth it..

thursday, went to town with classmates to far east.. emily, wanli and jodie. took pictures for the first time with them! haha. then, met up with lester, arthur and joel.. just sitting down and chatting up with them makes me contented. poooo. i really miss the J2s.

yesterday training under rain again, but i think we're all used to that already. turned up a lil late. preena, toi and i went to sneak a peek at the dance auditions. there was this guy who was, quite interesting i must say. haha.. speaking of training, the j1 girls are all very nice.

had an interesting chat in the bus on the way to town with mr jonatan tan, aka T34 last year's chem teacher for half a year, and aka my current form teacher. toi and i were bitching to him about teachers, and venting to him about school and how it has changed. how the teachers were lousier for my batch compared to last year's. :( he said T34 was a very special class to have all the higher ranks in the subject deparments being the teachers. i very much think so too! we had mr leong for econs, mrs felicia koh for maths, and mrs sandra tan for chem. that's like the ultimate ideal-teachers package luh! hah owell. but mr tan is really a nice teacher! felt very comfortable chatting to him like friends. then headed to town for dinner with preena and arthur. then walked around before going home.

today i'm gonna be a good girl and stay at home! haha. okay. just so not in the mood for going out. all i do is spend more money! which is a no-no. i've yet to even wear out 5 new tops/ dress that i got from sprees online recently. and i wanna perm half of my hair. i think i've almost made up my mind. i'm seriously bored of my hair.

IG33

chunky monkeys.

2007-01-19T19:56:00.001+08:00

thank goodness my class yet again is made up of very unpretentious people, but we're still not united yet. we're all starting to open up a little, but there's still a few heres and theres, cliques and all. haven't had our first class outing but let's hope it'll be next week.

my calve muscles are evolving. i'm quite depressed. :( they're becoming babooski and very very chunky cos of the frequent runs! wednesday, for cca we ran a total of 10 rounds plus drills. thursday, for mass PE we ran a total of 7 rounds plus sit-ups, starjumps and blahs.. and today again for cca, we ran 10 rounds total and drills. 3 consecutive days and with this sudden rise of sports activities, my calve muscles how to not become bigger. jo is gonna be a big stout muscle woman. yucks! on a lighter note, hockey is fun. :)

oh oh, and i forgot to mention, i bought this pair of nike dunks ive been eyeing for a week at vivo last sat with chrissy. i finally found the size 6.5 after calling several nike shops! bet it was last pair of that size in singapore or something. and my gosh i got a 25% discount!! it really cut down alot on the retailing price!! :) it happened when my typical-auntie side showed. i asked the cute malay salesman that was serving me for a slight staff discount. i thought it was prolly gonna be just 5% or 10%. he thought for a moment but then gave in! if i'm not wrong his used up his monthly staff privellege for me! i was damn touched. and i only found out about the big discount when the price went down from about $126 to about $93?! :) hah.

Actions speak louder than words. oh definitely.

blah.

2007-01-15T19:23:00.000+08:00

school's probably getting better.

supposedly 'skipped' chinese and went out of school together with wanli and emily, my fellow 1T08 retainee classmates, and waritta, who doesn't need to take chinese. haha. we had break before 2 periods of chinese so we had a total of 3 free hours before PE lesson at 4! went down to lido in hopes of catching the 1.30pm Blood Diamond slot. we told ourselves if it lasted 2hour or less, we would be able to watch. but it was 2hr20mins. ): nevermind so we went over to borders and kinokuniya where i got a new file (which reminds me of something i used to carry is primary 3) then had lunch.

oh when we were heading back to school, we saw the weirdest thing ever. we were standing right outside orchard MRT entrance from wisma GAP, and at the traffic light linking wheelock to the mrt, we saw big crowds running frantically towards us like from a scene from The Day After Tomorrow or War Of The Worlds. then we realised it was raining damn heavily on the other side while we were super dry and clean. it was damn weird! like, there was heavy rain just 3 metres away from us. haha. but soon the clouds zoomed over us so yeah. we ran for cover. funny.

okay i'm tired. and school's quite monotonous. subject teachers are quite boring as well. SIGH! at least my class has nice people; but, waayyy too nice. i'm really not used to that.

rain rain, go away..

2007-01-13T23:40:00.000+08:00

i miss last year. sigh.

apologies for the so-called hiatus. not really in the mood to blog about my quite-sad-life, yet. many many pics yet to upload though! @gothampenthouse, @dxo, @phunkbar, @ministryofsound.
i so need happy pills or endorphins. even chocolates ain't enough now. pfft.
i miss rachell, lester, qibin, charmaine, bailyn, xiangli, ryan, arthur, randall, even themis. actually i miss everyone in 1T34 2006. i miss fernie, i miss pet, i miss songyao, i miss so many others like maybe celine, james, kiat, etc etc. it's so depressing that we can't study and hang out together as often as we could. if i only had 5 more marks for geog. 5 stupid marks. no, maybe just 2 more marks, plus level moderation, i would've made it. ohwell, shuddup jo. too late for regretting.

orientation genesis was kinda fun for the newcomers i suppose. but it was definitely a nightmare for all the retainees. i'm glad it's all over now. made some friends who're really quite nice.. but it's still different la.
least i'm not alone in this nightmare. but then it's still quite sad.

had a emo day-out with chrissy when we ponned one of the days. not so emo after all! camwhored and met up with some of 2T34 people! went down to ryan's friend's shop near bugis, and walked at bugis too. dayout with lots of laughter. wheee. then there was thursday after school where chriss, lester, ryan, arthur and i went down to suntec to walk and eat and just pass time. then there was yesterday night's bbq gathering at chrissy's house together with 2T34 people again! i don't remember smiling so much this year if not only around my ex classmates. though we weren't blessed with good weather, it was filled with fun, laughter, farts & silly jokes. me and toi's chaotah cannot-make-it marshmallows on mini toothpicks and plastic spoons, the crazy number of umbrellas needed to cover the bbq fire, building of the shelter which did not work, chriss getting all high and mad, etc. haha! oh well. one of the happier days of 2007 worth recalling.

anyway. songs by boys like girls are the ultimate earcandies man. ;)

Today's a winding road that's taking me to places that I didn't want to go
Today in the blink of an eye I'm holding on to something and I do not know why
I tried

I tried to read between the lines, I tried to look in your eyes
I want a simple explanation for what I'm feeling inside
I gotta find a way out, maybe there's a way out

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer, do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder and I said, your eyes are the brightest of all the colours
I don't wanna ever love another, you'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain and bring on the thunder

Today is a winding road, tell me where to start and tell me something I don't know
Today I'm on my own, I can't move a muscle and I can't pick up the phone
I don't know

And now I'm itching for the tall grass and longing for the breeze
I need to step outside just to see if I can breathe
I gotta find a way out, maybe theres a way out

Yeah I'm walking on a tightrope, I'm wrapped up in vines
I think we'll make it out but you just gotta give me time
Strike me down with lightning, let me feel you in my veins
I wanna let you know how much I feel your pain.

year-end reflection

2006-12-28T21:50:00.000+08:00

DISCLAIMER: Entry unsuitable for all audiences. Only recommended to patient souls who are concerned/ bored enough to hear me rant.

(:

the year end's coming. i can't believe year 2006 is almost over when the year still feels so fresh! and am starting to reflect on my life. it's scary how uncertain i am about the path i'm heading, how dark and gloomy it looks from where i stand, yet i see a peek of silver lining. the future's a blur to me.

i keep dwelling on the past and thinking of what-could-have-been. i keep asking myself why i hadn't pushed myself just a little harder on something, why i hadn't given more thought to a situation, why i didn't make another wiser decision, why i let the golden opportunity of ___(fill in the blanks) slip.

do i really know myself well? am i behaving to my fullest? is this all of me or am i simply putting on a facade?

who am i? what am i? what are my goals? what have i achieved? what are my strengths? what are my flaws? what is it that's missing in my life? what is it that's part of my life which i am not treasuring? what have i not moved on from the past? what am i like in the eyes of people? what's in store for me in the future?

there's so many questions but so few answers. life should be simple, yet why does it seem so complicated? or should i say, why do i make it sound so complicated? but there's so much for us to learn and remember through our journey, so much to laugh about, so much to cry about, so much to treasure, so much to accept, so much to hold on to, so much to let go of.

Life will always be unfulfilled for everyone in some ways or another, especially cos of our insatiable desires. Be it performing below expectations towards their goals, be it regretting from a hasty impulsive decision, be it receiving inadequate or no love from one you treasure alot, be it simply on bad luck, whatever. It all boils down to the same point; I doubt anyone can be fully satisfied in life.

How do people stay positive, then? guess they think of the good things they have in life and what they have that others don't. i'll have to say, the things that keep me going are definitely my friends, and probably partially, my family? they are the element of my happiness. they affect me, which in turns affects my perpective in life. but, on my own, i think i'm nothing. seems like i've no dreams nor goals, no strengths nor achievements. i feel so, so useless.

this year's probably one of my most enriching years which i've learnt the most lessons and values from. like they always say, "Remembering a past failure is one of the best ways to reach a new goal. Negative emotions associated with missed opportunities or a bad break-up reminds you of feelings you'd like to avoid this time round." so, definitely a year of pain and gain.

i really ought to set my new year resolutions soon.

here by me

2006-12-26T16:12:00.000+08:00

And everything I had in this world, and all that I'll ever be
It could all fall down around me, just as long as I have you right here by me.

NZ, birthday, clique chalet.

2006-12-23T20:49:00.000+08:00

13 days at newzealand were spent nicely. (: we travelled to almost 3/4 of NZ's towns already! we went free&easy w/o tour, so it was much more relaxing; then again it was very tiring for my dad cause we were normads moving from one town to another almost everyday. the things i'll remember clearly is trying the shotover jet (which was super fun and cost a bomb to sit it) at Queensland, World's longest flying fox (3.2km), being at the exact place where one of the LordOfTheRings scene was filmed, and seeing the now very cute & very endangered Kiwi which are said to be extinct by year 2015 :(!!!!

had the longest birthday ever, of 29hours. haha! cos i was still in Christchurch on my bday, and that NZ was 5 ahead of singapore time. (: spent 10 hours of it flying home. cos my seat's comp couldnt play movies back, i played the games instead and unknowingly spent 8 bloody hours non-stop playing pokemon gold! zomg! and i thought i had only played for like 2hrs. i ended up with a super stiff neck when we arrived in singapore.

the day after i got back, clique celebrated my bday! went over to nic's and it was like a surprise! it was in this shopping concept where i had to shop for what i like. haha damn cute. they got me the tannlines wallet and a retroprint dress plus little others! plus the yummy oreocheesecake etc. wohoh. i was a fat and happy girl.

went to lester's church event on thurs with the class clique. haha it's good to see em again after so long. missed half of the chalet and went only on the 2nd last day. Overdrive @ dxo had live bands playing. we all went to support sham's bro! day after, we checked out of the chalet and i met chrissy poo for a little shopping! wooooo.

Sing me something soft, sad & delicate; Or loud & out of key, sing me anything. We're glad for what we've got, done with what we've lost; Our whole lives laid out right in front of us.

new zealand!

2006-12-05T13:42:00.000+08:00

A Walk To Remember
(Jamie just told Landon she had incurable Leukemia and that her days are numbered.)

Jamie: I'm so sorry, i really should've told you sooner.
Landon: Nah I made you do too many things, i kept you out ... I...
Jamie: No no no, if anything you kept me healthy longer.
Landon: Are you scared?
Jamie: To death.. ?.. (Jamie smiles) Lighten up!
Landon: It's not funny.
Jamie: ... I'm scared of not being with you.
Landon: (Hugs) Oh baby that will never happen.

it's silly how i've not been unwell for 1000 years but i'm down with slight flu/fever on the day when i'm flying off. hah. sigh. anyways, walked around town with toi 2 days ago. got my windbreaker and stuff while she got her cap.. got her patrickstar & ben&jerry's cookie dough too! yesterday met bay in the evening, slacked around. seems like everyone's out of town!

omg 2 weeks out of the city! it'll be weird man.. i'll so miss everyone. the clique, the class..
okay flight's tonight. i'll be off sleeping with the sheep in the meadows and chasing cows. HAHA how loser. then again it sounds like fun. will be back to civilisation on the 18th evening. till then!..

dayout with bay & lester

2006-12-02T13:53:00.000+08:00

outing with mom before meeting up with lester and bay yesterday! went shopping for lester's winter clothes cause he's going aussie today! by evening, he went off to church carolling practice while bay & i stayed at FEP. we caught Clap! Bboy competition outside FEP. it was quite an exciting performance seeing all the groups breakdance, especially when they start twirling their heads on the floor with their feet high above the ground! woohoooo. shopped abit before lester came to find us after his performance at about 10pm.

going home was most fun. our feet were killing so we decided to take a cab. but dangs, fri night before-11 (midnight charge) cabs were hard to get! queued outside meritus mandarin where the queue was fairly short, but very few taxis! until about 10.50pm we quickly called for a cab instead cause we didn't wanna be in the mercy of midnight charge. hehe. cab came almost instantly! wheee. we made lester follow us back to our houses before going to his (despite him staying in town!). camwhored and sang xmas carols at the top of our voices. damn funny please. the uncle was surely enduring our gross voices. deep inside i bet he wanted the taxi ride to be over as soon as possible. LOL.

choir concert

2006-11-27T18:19:00.001+08:00

I sit and reminisce of times that we once shared
you gave me more than love but never thought I cared
my feelings were all for you although it didn't show
I only told you the day you let me go

dyed my hair auburn brown last saturday! and it's damn obvious it's been dyed. it's like, bright RED under orange light. haha damn budget. i got the dye and dyed at home, then met billy at yiochukang to pass the half mixed bottle of dye for him to use. lol. half a bottle would've been more than enough for me anyway. then headed down to newton to collect choir tickets from qibin, from which i went down to FEP to meet toi for dinner and a brief session of shopping!

yesterday, went for choir concert at VCH to support our fellow cj choir! interesting i must say, cos it's my first time attending a real choir concert. haha! cj was one of the best, from my probably biased point of view lah. but yeah, they did well. me and toi couldn't stop giggling through some parts cos they were quite funny. personal joke but nevermind! oh and i bought roses for celine, qibin & james.

after the concert, song and i headed down to vivocity in hopes of showing up to see fernie and surprise her cos she was working there. little did we know that she has 2 jobs and she was at the other one! doh! so we just walked around and shopped a little.. yes, crazy but songyao actually could shop(?!). went back to ps for dinner and also cos we initially were meeting the choir ppl after they had finished watching Happy Feet at night. hah, we talked about interesting stuffs while killing time. ryan came to meet us, then went dhoby xchange arcade before heading to coffeebean to slack and continue on our interesting emo talk. and i totally discovered someone's new talent! super accurate! tsk.

speaking of emo talk, i realized there's nothing much worth looking forward to for me now. i'm like just getting through every day as it passes. borinngg~ oh boy. haha. there's gotta be more to life, isn't it? come to think of it, i'm actually a little queer in my thinking sometimes. also, is that everything we need..? is that all that matters..? i ain't as shallow as that of the way i tell how i prefer my life to be.

new zealand in about 1 week and a half's time (okay that's still quite long later). i hope it'll be fun.. will be away for like half a month sleeping amongst the cows, the meadows and snowy mountains. right. gonna miss the city and the friends man.

club fun & casino royale

2006-11-24T18:31:00.000+08:00

today's one of the rare days when i never set foot out of my house. hmmms. if not for the rain and my laziness, i would've been somewhere else having Fun.

yesterday, toi and i went swimming at my club! for me it's more of floating? haha. the weather was perfect despite now being the rainy season of the year! we were blessed with a cloudless sky, and the sun was uber good there man. we had frequent dips while tanning and stuff. the best thing was there were almost no one around, so we could really tan and swim in peace. hee. i should take advantage of my membership more often.

after that we headed to town, met qibin, from which we ate at esteler! yumms. walked around, then lester joined us to watch Casino Royale at night. the show was hilariously interesting. there weren't any lame or funny parts in the show, but we were laughing half the time. Especially when you have qibin sitting on your right commenting on how some parts of the movie were remakes of SuperMarioland The Movie (if there even were to be such a thing!) & Titanic, and toi on the left whining on how alienic and gross James Bond looks. haha. joke! even spotting lester's monotonous face throughout the whole 2.5hr movie was funny.

every little thing.

2006-11-24T17:11:00.000+08:00

I wish I could be every little thing you wanted all the time
I wish I could be every little thing you wanted all the time, some times.
lift me up, just lift me up don't make a sound
and let me hold you up before you hit the ground
see all come, you say your all right
but I get the strangest feeling that you've gone away
and will you find out who you are too late to change?

birthdays & holidays.

2006-11-23T01:54:00.000+08:00

hello world. been busy lately.. i'm hardly ever home till late at night these 3 days.

headed down to amk after sup results in the evening to meet the clique! and we headed to Night Safari as part of sheila's early bday celebration.. qi arrived earlier and got to know this tourguide who was so nice to volunteer to bring us around as our tour guide free of charge for the night tho she was off duty! (: even gave us 50% discount for our entrance fees and food. then we headed straight to the tram ride which was the highlight of the night! the weather was perfect (windy & cool), since it rained minutes before we arrived! and all the animals were out! my 2nd ever trip there, and the 1st one was bad cause we couldn't see much animals. i'm so glad we went there that night. though i received bad news about my math results and wasn't in the mood to be happy, i became happy overall with the company and what i saw!

sadly, no pics. they wouldn't allow any flash! boo.

the next day, we went over to sheila's to celebrate her seventeenth. we dressed up as MapleStory characters cos sheila loves that game. (: i played doctor betty, wrath, and some mushroom. don't know whoever they are cos yes i don't play. haha i shan't explain further but overall it was funny! i even borrowed my aunt's nurse uniform to use for dress-up! we sewed her a comforter/ blanket (more credits to ninny & nic for putting all the sewn pieces together!) but yes i thought that idea was damn sweet. overall turned out pretty well! i'm glad despite different schools, we're still contacting and communicating well (:

today, i practically rotted at home until evening when i headed down to chrissy's house for her sis's birthday. haha most of us classmates don't even know her sister though.. just slacked around, talked nonsense. -- what 1T34 is best at. hah. hide&SEEK to hide&SLEEP. joke i swear..! 2nd joke of the night, the bed wrestle we had which caused toi to pull chrissy's hp charger wire off by accident! hahah. never seen such an odd thing happen but hilarious.

sigh, i'm so shagged now. glad i'm coping well with the fact that i'm retaining.. i hope the 5 of us off the 2T34 list will never ever lose contact next year with the class.. am still looking forward to having study sessions and breaks together with them! sigh. but with timetable clashes, activities & cca clashes and all, it's gonna be tough. just a little more than a month left to spend together before we're officially not a full class anymore.. :( siggghhh! well, better make the most out of them.. (:

I can see the pain living in your eyes, and i know how hard you try
You deserve to have so much more
I can feel your heart and i sympathize, and i'll never criticize
All you've ever meant to my life.

I don't want to let you down, I don't want to lead you on,
I don't want to hold you back from where you might belong.

sup papers ?!

2006-11-18T13:51:00.000+08:00

sup papers have ended 2 days ago, and i think i'm regretting not putting in more again! arghs. it was even harder than in promos. and to think i had more confidence in doing well for promos than for my sup papers.. so that means goodgame for me. no more T34 for me. sigh.

anyway, here's many many thanks to the nicest people ever, who studied with me so many times even though they do not have to take those sup papers.. qibin, lester, songyao, THANK YOU! your presence and moral support were enough. thanks qibin & songyao for lending me your math file & TYS, and for waking up stupidly early in the morning to study at tp library with me! (: thank you lester for just being there to make sure i study! thank you celine for offering your whole stack of math tutorials! thank you ivan for including me in your prayers and for your luck, plus big thank-yous to toi, fernie, xiling, hazel, yenkiat, xiangli, arthur, bay, and others, for the luck and encouragements! and not forgetting ryan, chrissy, and shiting, all sufferring together, encouraging each other all the way.! haven't talked to junhoe though. hah. so sad to say this, but i know i'm done here. results for sup papers will be out in 2 days, and i know i have done horrendously bad.. so bad i'm gonna fail for sure. so bad i'm gonna have to appeal to revisit j1 again.. well well. guess it was a waste of time. i should've just put in 100% effort, or just put in nothing at all. ):

celebrated toi's birthday on 14th.. sorry for the short one but we'll be celebrating it again! sup papers had to just fall 2 days after the bday. ): pics will be up soon. but anyways, we had a back-to-school party. wore back our ij uniforms and we looked like overgrown happy kids, as quoted from ninny. hah. went home around the evening and dad picked me and nic up from ps. did some catching up with nic! been long since we actually chatted bout our lives la. (:

yup nothing much more. i still feel very depressed about the sup papers. like what my sister had said, that paper was like the final chance to determine whether i'm gonna waste a year or not. booo. i never thought retaining would be an option for me.. guess this time i'm really learning my lesson. ohwells. just reflecting. i know there's no point thinking about it already cause it's done and nothing can change that. i just hate accepting failure. i hate thinking how my next new class will be like; i know it will not be comparable with T34 for sure. i hate thinking who i'm going to mix around with next year; i know it will not be comparable to the friends i hangout with now. whatever happens, i don't know, i try to tell myself maybe my new route is for the better of me.

just as i'm starting to enjoying my ride, i'm forced to leave. ):

truth is,

2006-11-05T10:17:00.000+08:00

BERYL'S BDAY YESTERDAYY! got the cake and flowers then gathered at ninny's house to prepare the presents. ate at sake sushi in marina sq for dinner before she and gp took the G-force ride. hehe. it looks fun! i feel like trying it but ain't sure if i've the guts to! hah! the most embarrassing thing happened during dinner! was going toilet but was too engrossed in smsing, so i walked into the male toilet.and if that's not bad enough, i stood infront of the big 3/4 body length mirror for like half a minute just adjusting my hair and smsing. ahhh!! then when i was about to turn in to the cubicles, i saw like 6 to 7 guys staring at me. omggggg i just ran out and back to sake to hide my face lah! didn't even have the face to go to the girls loo instead! worse still, cos sake was just beside the toilet, this 2 guys walked out behind me and from the sake glass panels they started waving at me and laughing. roars! felt like a total loser. roflol.

sigh, this month is a month of new relationships built and old relationships lost. either a start of a new and happy r/s or an end to a long r/s. friends.. and my sister and her boyfriend of 4 years just broke up. ): i feel so depressed for her.. i thought they would've lasted. hope they get back again. ): and her boyfriend's brother broke up with his girlfriend of 7 years as well. sighh.

day before yesterday, lunch with qibin, toi, rachell & themis at crystal jade after school. then went our separate ways. headed down to vivocity with lester, ryan, songyao & his friend nataniel. walked around, then we met fernie there and proceeded to songyao's house! initially they wanted to play pool but the table was booked.. so we managed to get up into his house after much persuasion. cool house la. kinda big, just a little messy. eheh. but it's still nice and all! his mom is damn nice! she treated us to Haagen Daaz! me and & fernie got a top & dress at anchorpoint respectively. teeheee. then we all went down to fernie's house by evening where her aunt cooked nice food for us! songyao went home to bathe before meeting us there. qibin came all the way to meet us after his choir. so fun. we played cards and went home after that. oh and there was this 'pi-sai ball' incident, i still can't help laughing when i think of it! lmao.

Ran into an old friend yesterday, caught me by surprise when he called my name
He was a familiar face, from a chapter in my past
Talked for a while, I smiled and then said that he was seeing somebody and
Told me this was gonna last, showing me her photograph
And all the feelings I thought were gone came rushing back to me at once
Tried to smile and hide the way I felt, but I was thinking to myself

Truth is, I never got over you ; Truth is, Wish I was standing in her shoes
Truth is, And when it's all said and done, guess I'm still in love with you
Truth is, I never should have let you go ; Truth is, And it's killing me cuz now I know
Truth is, And when it's all said and done, guess I'm still in love with you.

failed attempts to Fly.

2006-11-02T22:36:00.000+08:00

today was rather ...stirring. met songyao at tp in late morning to study.. ate lunch den went over to the library. felt super bad cause i was like trying to mug for my maths supp while he didn't have anything to do! haha. he was either stoning, staring at chinese notes (which wasn't much necessary), and helping me in math questions. hmmm. then lester came, followed by qibin & chrissy, plus bailyn who popped by to say hi. we moved over to macs where it was less crowded, and where ryan & toi came as well. on a whole i only did 4 sequence&series questions today! slap me please..

after that, studying was super unproductive cause we started to get restless.. then the guys suggested going Speedy for 2 rounds. oh boy... then i felt super guilty. sighs! AOlevel chinese tmr. ohmygosh. i didn't touch chinese at all. ohwells.

i remember how i felt when i first got to know my results. i remember the ache i felt and how regretful i was not studying harder and how sad i was thinking i wasn't gonna be in T34 anymore. and now that God has given me a second chance, i am not even treasuring it. geesh. wake up jo. i musn't succumb to any temptations anymore. dota can wait. dota isn't important at all la. roars. maybe i should try studying at home instead. haha. anyway i am super grateful to all those who've been supportive. qibin, lester, songyao, who personally come out to encourage & help me, & others who've tried to motivate me. :) plus ryan & chrissy who're in the suffering with me. hah.

dumdeedums. i feel down & out today. i need happy pills! ):

flirt & flirt. hmm.

moody.

2006-10-31T22:25:00.000+08:00

i'm so bored i feel like killing myself.

updates,
- misplaced by phone 7370 in the arcade at dhoby xchange while playing daytona and i strongly suspect it got stolen right after cause it wasn't anywhere to be found. ):
- sara, fernie & shiting, plus serene, henry, rose & xiling came over to my place on saturday for pw. haha. quite slack but still managed to be productive.
- currently tryna study math these days. failing quite badly though. :/ big thank-yous to qibin & alittle of themis (BLOODY MATHS GENIUS, 78/100 IN PROMOS!) for teaching me! ;D they care about my promotion and i appreciate that so, so much.
- been going back to school for OP dry-run. my presentation skills suck. :/
- tried mugging ytd but failed terribly. we ended up talking about everything in life ranging from primary schs, to mr bean, to injuries & cuts, to skating, to religion, to reflecting on life etc. fun but unproductive. haha
- today i finally watched DEATH NOTE with lester, chrissy, qibin, themis & ryan. it's damn nice! i can't believe it'll be this nice. i'm so gonna watch death note 2 this december man! L & Light are damn cute laa.. tried studying at cathay basement after that with the rest. more productive! talked about stuffs too.

People's expectations change. Guess i've learnt that today. They change in time, sometimes gradually, and sometimes suddenly. His/her attitude towards you drastically change, and you wonder to yourself what shit you've done wrong. sucks, doesn't it? hah. well, guess it can't be helped. If it is meant to be like that, then live with it.

PS: Thankyou those who've been so nice to offer to accompany me these days in studying for my math, offering encouragements, and even helping me in it! you guys chose to help me when you could've been out there shopping, having fun & all. omg i couldn't thank you guys more. sighs.

random.

2006-10-29T11:41:00.000+08:00

it's amazing how old songs can trigger bittersweet memories and make them almost come to life again.

Nostalgia.

got your own kind of style that sets you apart,
baby that's why you captured my heart.

2nd last day of school ; ninny's bday!; glenn's bday!

2006-10-25T21:15:00.000+08:00

Today's the last day of school lessons for 2006.. Tomorrow will be the official year-end J1 ceremony, then goodbye CJC for 2 months! well, not exactly. still have to come back for Oral Presentation, Chinese AOlevel paper, plus my math supplementary paper! Bro Paul talked to the last batch today, and we are supposed to pass the sup paper ( >44/100), or he said we'd be "Unemployed", which means, kicked out lah. and appeals will only be looked into in a case-by-case basis. roar. Maths!! i think i might be a goner.. gotta book some people to help me already. hee.

Class pictures taken today.....!! Credits to Mr Jonathan Tan, our patient photographer. haha.

(CLICK TO ENLARGE)

class girls acting "cutesy". haha

I love my class man. <3 pic taken of all of us without angeline and lydia, and in memory of rongcheng. For now it's goodbye 1T34, and hello 2T34/ 1T-- (fill in the blanks).

out to town after school with fernie and toi! got some stuffs before toi and i went down to sheila's place to celebrate ninny's bday! (: HAPPY BIRTHDAY NINNNYYY! it was a mini Halloween party! we dressed up as horror icons and i was The Mummy. hehe. brought 2 big roles of toilet paper to school summore. like some auntie. toi was Sadako, nat was the ballerina from Wishing stairs, beryl & qi were Addam Wednesday people (i think so), sham was the evil woman at the tower from the show Stay Alive, and nic was Casper! sheila made the best Oreo cheesecake in town man! rocks like shit. can compete with the one at Starbucks. hah. after that she opened our individual presents! ok pics will be up soon!

Oh yes, and yesterday, it was glenn's bday! toi and i headed to VIVOCITY before that cause i had to meet my seller. like finally i've been to vivocity. it's super big and nice lah! i'm impressed. and i busted $102 on Forever21 tops! slap me please! :( i'm still in debt. haha. i wanna go vivocity again! then we headed down to sham's house in the evening to have steamboat dinner cause the birthday boy wanted it.. nice stuff man.

photos taken! yep, notice the smileys. unglam shit.

if only we could live twice.

2006-10-23T20:41:00.000+08:00

first things first, i forgot to bring my phone to school today. felt damn empty please! had totally no form of connection to the outside world apart from friendly people in cjc. haha. i came home seeing 16 missed calls and 11 new messages. hmmm.

today was one of the freakiest days ever. i waited in anticipation at the foyer for what's going to happen to me next year. i had cold sweat and my heart was pounding at an unstable rate. ahaha. in the end, a list of students whose names were shown on the tv updates board had to see bro paul, and some of our names weren't there... kind of like hanging on a string. well, tanjeksuan said bro paul will talk to the rest on wed... roar... now please lemme take sup papers.

we waited for toi and others to finish, before playing dota at Speedy with the usual dota khakis plus xiangli! once again.. haha too lazy to talk about it. but today's one was damn exciting! and especially stressful for me. i felt like a noob playing with a group of pro asses lah. come to think of it, i was. lol.

Can this be true? Tell me, can this be real?
How can I put into words what I feel?

last few days.

2006-10-22T21:48:00.000+08:00

been packed with activities the past few days.. dota has taken up my shopping time! been playing it almost everyday! gosh... watched The Prestige on thurs with haowen songyao james ryan henry. quite an interesting show! but takes alot of thinking to understand the story.

fri, sat and sun, dota all the way! goodness. and all same meeting patterns. songyao reaches the earliest, then i meet him, then qibin will meet us awhile later at the ps entrance, then we'll talk some crap there when we ain't even waiting for anyone, then lester will arrive some time later, followed by toi etc etc. i need a life. i need to shop and tan. not just visit Speedy Cafe everyday. haha. now even the auntie who owns the shop remembers us.

but oh well, gotta spend as much time with my classmates as possible.. next week will be the last week 1T34 will ever exist as a full 26-students-class... :( i'm so sad. no more daily canteen craptalks, no more playing of stupid boliao hand games during break, no chionging for prelims and As together, no going grad night together... :( booohooooohoooooo. i don't ever wanna lose friends from T34. :( and many others from other classes.. wellwell, guess i'll just have to treasure them while i can.

and we were better then then we'd ever been before
you came back to me after walking out my door
you would call me on the phone before you even got home
without me, you said you were all alone

the cold wind that blows all the things i used to know
how could it play so fast, never thought you'd be part of my past
would i trade it all again to get you out of my head?

scoop

2006-10-17T22:58:00.000+08:00

miss fkoh is back in teaching our class maths, and as usual, we forgot to do our math homework (19 of us), and got sent outta class. only 4 people were left in class! haha. but actually it wasnt that dreadful being punished outside altogether..

out with some class people today.. had retail therapy with chrissy, bay and ryan after school to comfort myself after suffering from yet another heartache upon receiving h1 paper. don't wish to talk about it. shopping made me feel a whole lot better! i bought this top from Foorever21 in an online spree and i saved $10 bucks exactly even if it means buying from the US and shipping over. cheap shit. singapore taxes and stuff are cheating on our money! now i know to participate in sprees instead! heh.

after shopping in town, headed to cine to catch Scoop with chrissy joel ryan qibin and lester. my sis said it was very nice and funny so i suggested it. omggg it turned out averagely dreadful! sheesh! -.- after movie, we went sakae for dinner, then headed to TCC at ps to copy maths homework. heh. i was starting to get motivated to study again (yeah whatever). it's been long since i've held a bloody pen, i even feel weird doing so! anyways, i thought, hey, we could do this everyday next year to motivate each other to consistently study, yet at the same time have fun together; but then again, i remembered that we wouldn't even have the chance to do so anymore. :( right, right. no dota today! we can exercise self-discipline! hah.. nonetheless, dota these days has been real fun. i think we're all getting addicted to it..

last note, thank you everyone for your comfort and encouragements! people like toi, chrissy, fern, rachell, xiling, sheila, sham, qibin, lester, tasha, sara, pet, charmaine, song, kiat, haowen, xiuxian, lowyon, laycheng etc.. hoho. :) :) :) what can i say? i love you all! xiling's blog entry is making me sad again. thank you xiling, your entry is really touching. :')

You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines
you almost made me cry again this time
another false alarm, red flashing lights
well this time I'm not going to watch myself die
I think I made it a game to play your game and let myself cry
I buried myself alive on the inside
so I could shut you out and let you go away for a long time

there's nothing left to say but, goodbye.

2006-10-13T12:14:00.000+08:00

"I've finally made friends like you all, and now you all have to go.."

That line fucking stabbed me in the heart. It did on wednesday, and it still will for quite some time.

I don't ever wanna leave; 1T34 was no doubt the greatest J1 class anyone can ever be in. To think i used to dislike the class, but now it's so different. All the rebelling against the teachers, whole class mass skipping of chinese lectures together just to play dota, everyday-breaktime-laughters and jokes, all the Mr T jokes and stories, all the countless encouragements we offer to each other, after school hangouts in far east.. that emo session we had outside the toilet about parting from each other made me realise how much everyone treasures each other. Completely different unpretentious people with so many common interests. It's so rare to find a class which never fails to have class outings almost everyday. I don't want this feeling of belonging to ever go... I know, we can still see each other in school, but the feeling will be different. It'll no longer be the same... Moderations?......

The crying these days has drained me so badly, I feel so tired of trying. Even posting this simple entry is making my heart ache so badly.

post-promo-days. :)

2006-10-01T12:03:00.000+08:00

hello world! promos are almost over! left with H1 papers.. wheeeee.

two fridays ago we had our chinese promo paper, and i overslept! i only woke up when toi called my house at 7.35am. i was like, !!!!, the paper was starting in 25 mins?! rushed down just 5 mins late for the paper thanks to my dad who drove me there. eheh. that was close.

the next monday we had our chem paper which was disastrous.. i studied like shit for chem and well, i think i'm still gonna fail. :O section c was horrible, and i didn't even complete my section a when the time was up that i had to randomly shade some answers for almost 8 questions. one thing i definitely learnt is that no matter how hard you study in the last few days for jc work, you won't score unless you've been consistent. unless, you're some genius lah. booooo. disappointment disappointment!

wednesday was maths. the subject i have least knowledge in, for jc work. hawhaw i didn't really sleep the day before luh. burnt midnight oil all the way till 5am in the morning, and had only 1 hour plus of sleep before waking up. and even until 5am, i couldn't finish integration so i skipped that! goodness.

paper was odd, i think i'm still gonna fail as usual. :( roar! haha after the papers part of the class went out together. for some it was movie marathon cos they watched 2 movies! The Banquet in the afternoon and John Tucker Must Die in the night.! i went shopping with tasha while they watched the banquet. got to have a nice conversation with her talking about life and goals and expectations of a guy ahha. it's cool to see someone you aren't exactly close close to in class open up to you. after their movie, tasha went home and i met the class before heading over to marina sq for bowling! yeah i suck at that man! poooo! my balls either went right to the drain, or scored a strike! funny or what. after bowling we went to the cathay to watch john tucker! funny show.

below: us after watching john tucker
the day after, met PET to go shopping! wheeee. it's been ages since we went out, and yeah, shopped! haowen was totally mia la. after shopping, pet met up with her mom while i went down to meet the class people.. lester, qibin, ryan, arthur. 'twas weird cos i was the only girl?! toi went to somewhere else! but then again, they didn't make me feel weird! so haha. we had fish&co for dinner at the glass house! i love the ambience there!

the next day i completely rot at home. was supposed to meet the class to play lan but ended up being so late that they finished playing already. then they all (those i met yesterday plus toii and ferniee!) came to my house and we rented House of Wax! gross show pleasee.

day after, met toi at far east with kenghee and lowyon, while she went to cut her hair. then met some other class people to play lan. lost badly (cos i suck at lan but nevermind!) ahha. i randomly chose some loserfied hero who sucked. then again probably it's cos i sucked. had dinner at cine, then ryan wanted to go to some band gig beside cine. omggggg they were like screaming as though they were in the midst of an exorcism done on them! we couldn't even hear any words. hahah me toi and rongcheng were like staring at ryan in fascination nodding his head up and down. okay but the last band as promised by ryan would be the best one.. i'd have to agree since the vocalist sang better, music sounded good, and there were lyrics in the song. :/

screwed econs!

2006-09-19T22:40:00.000+08:00

GP paper yesterday was fine. i hope i at least pass. geesh.. and oh, i think i just screwed up my Econs paper today. am rather confident for my first essay question but i'm so gonna get zero for case study and second essay. great, my first H2 promo paper and i blew it. yay me. good job jo. good job for screwing up probably your only hope for promoting.
meanwhile, i can start thinking of my new subject combinations to take next year. or maybe think of which courses i could take in poly. yipeeee. how fun.

cause lately it seems the distance between us is growing too wide.

2006-09-17T22:58:00.000+08:00

retardness! :) insides of our daily conversations.

studied at united sq starbucks this afternoon with ryan. toi came later, and so did rongcheng. so many cjc people were mugging there too! saw james and bunz. ha. sigh. i was so stressed i couldn't help but broke down. i realised i know nuts about econs? okay not really, but, i have to rely it for letting me promote. :( bye bye world. wish me luck for tomorrow's GP.

promos blues.... :(

2006-09-16T12:15:00.000+08:00

STUDY!! and i'm still online. argh. where's the self discipline?!

thursday was the last day of school before the promos. went down to scotts after school with henry lester and ryan to study. bay came after going novena! then so did arthur after awhile. studying was kind of unproductive cos quite distracting lah. haha. toi and rongcheng came too in the evening..

friday, harbourfront with toitoitoi, and ryan pak, who only came later. more productive, but still not good enough. haha. i really don't wanna retain. :( sigh.

okay that's all that happened so far. bye.

I close my eyes when I get too sad, I think thoughts that I know are bad
Close my eyes and I count to ten, Hope it's over when I open them
I just don't understand how you can smile with all those tears in your eyes,
Tell me everything is wonderful now.

.. and it hurts even more.

2006-09-14T23:02:00.000+08:00

i wait for the postman to bring me a letter.

i wait for the good Lord to make me feel better.

i dream of another you, the one who would never,

never leave me alone to pick up the pieces.

i dont know you, but i still want to.

i am broken, but i am hoping.

i am crying, and a part of me is dying.

happy endings.

2006-09-13T21:26:00.001+08:00

september 11th. HAPPY BIRTHDAY RACHELL. (: she treated us (the class) to her aunt's shanghai restaurant at balmoral plaza for dinner worth $400 +++ for her birthday dinner. WTH!! but food was not bad! (: oh and yes. i got high after having two bloody small teacups of red wine. call me a loser now! we were supposed to make someone else drunk. yes, mr T, but i got high myself. dad came to pick me up after that and i heard i missed out on some people's embarrassing moments! dangs.

yesterday, chem consultation after school, then down to scotts coffeebean with arthur and ryan to study. arthur was super sleepy and crappy that he went home halfway.. so pak and i just studied till 8 plus.. studying was not that bad yesterday.

today, came to school late. got a fever yesterday night after coming home! haha exam stress lah. after school rachell and i headed to town and i exchanged my zara top. i can't believe we're still shopping despite exams being a week away. shoot us!.. after that i went down to SMU to study myself. sis booked a room fer me before going off to meet her friends.. not productive please. i thought studying alone would be better cos there wouldn't be distractions but i was wrong! haha i was so bored cause i had no one to talk to and my stupid phone died on me! it's as though i'm cut out from the world stuck in a foreign strange place. i ended up snoozing for awhile. :(

updates and photos uploaded another time.

interesting shit. just being bored. hah.

Pick the month you were born:
January----- I kicked
February----- I loved
March----- I smoked
April----- I dry humped
May----- I choked on
June----- I murdered
July----- I did the Macarena with
August----- I had lunch with
September----- I danced with
October----- I sang to
November----- I yelled at
December----- I ran over

Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1------- a birdbath
2------- a monster
3------- a phone
4------- a fork
5------- a Mexican
6------- a gangster
7------- my cell phone
8------- my dog
9------- my best friends boyfriend
10------ my neighbor
11------- my science teacher
12------- a banana
13------- a fireman
14------- a stuffed animal
15------- a goat
16------- a pickle
17------- your mom
18------- a spoon
19------- myself
20------- a baseball bat
21------- a ninja
22----- a model
23------- a noodle
24------- a squirrel
25------- a football player
26------- my sister
27------- my brother
28------- an ipod
29------ a permanent marker
30------- a llama
31------- a homeless guy

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White------because I'm cool like that.
Black-------because that's how I roll.
Pink--------because I'm NOT a homosexual
Red--------because the voices told me to do so
Blue--------because I'm sexy and I do what I want
Green-----because I hate myself.
Purple-----because I'm cool.
Gray-------because I was drunk.
Yellow-----because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars.
Orange----because I hate my family.
Brown-----because I was high.
Other------because I'm a ninja.
None-------because I can't control myself.

I ran over a spoon because I'm sexy and I do what I want! haha!

you've got something that keeps me coming back to you.

2006-09-12T22:30:00.000+08:00

Maybe I'm amazed at the way you're with me all the time
Maybe I'm afraid of the way I leave you
Maybe I'm amazed at the way you help me sing my song, right me when I'm wrong
Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you.

all that i've got.

2006-09-09T21:21:00.000+08:00

i'm so bored now. yesterday went tanning with bay at serangoon swimming complex! haha then headed down to ang mo kio library to study with arthur. i was totally in the "homey" mood that day but he managed to successfully convince me to get out of the house to study. tsk. environment there is good! we studied for awhile before started talking and slacking!! argh. wasn't as productive but would've been better if we had the mood to study. would've been better if we did not start gossiping on hot topics. haha. aiya. after library closed, we shifted our butts to jubilee's mos burger but talked even more. and this time, we didn't even open our books. dangs.

today chem consultation at ps. bay overslept, toi took a snooze and woke up only when the consultation was going to end! so only ryan arthur and i were there. zzz. mr tan is funny. he's so open-minded and friendly. ha. after that, i gave tuition a miss and met up with zell! been long since we met up for more than an hour!! we walked around town and stuff.. supposed to study after shopping but she had to get home.. so met ryan to study for awhile before heading home.. was kinda distracted by the noise there so i didn't really study?! today, yet another unproductive 2 days! ):

there's so much i need to say to you, so many reasons why
you're the only one who really knew me at all

you give me the best mixtape i have.

2006-09-07T20:39:00.000+08:00

wooohoooo hello. past few day's been fine. i have spent half my september holidays unproductively and wastefully! argh! today i had to attend econs lecture.. i was like half an hour late but luckily arthur and xiangli were kinda late too so we went in together. ha. after that hung out with a few of the class people at far east before meeting jaslyn for lunch at subway! she came all the way to town for me and had to head all the way to tampines after that. :) i'm so glad we're still contacting and still have so much to talk about!

then met tammy for tuition at orchard plaza. arthur ponned cos ... owell. haha. lesson was stupid anyway. they went through the deeper part of organic chem which isn't even tested for my promos! tammy is nice. only 3rd lesson with her and we're bitching. HAWHAW.

i can't wait for promos to end!!! i've so much to do! shopping, tanning, losing weight, night events, catching up with friends, movies, sports, blah! everything fun not associated with studies! class might be having chalet too! yay. maybe the clique's having too?! and my new zealand trippp. ohmy gosh now i really can't wait. i sound really deprived. come to think of it, i really am.

haha another of my masterpiece for the famous stone. pak chong hei.

calculator designs! wooopeedoo. okay tata.

you know the world can see us in a way that's different than who we are..

2006-09-04T19:31:00.001+08:00

the photomachine shots

haha photofun with toi's phone inside the photomachineCome up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry, you don't know how lovely you are

I had to find you, tell you I need you, and tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets, and nurse me your questions,

Oh let's go back to the start

Running in circles, coming in tails, heads on a science apart

Nobody said it was easy, it's such a shame for us to part

Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard

Oh take me back to the start.

Don't Look Back in Anger.

2006-09-03T20:39:00.000+08:00

hello world. i'm currently on a deleting friends from friendster thang. i found it's pointless keeping people i don't know personally on my list. hmmm. haven't been up to much lately. but i'll see what i can remember. skipped school on wednesday cos the lessons were pointless! the polyclinic doc gave me 2 days MC. teeheee. hung around like a loser trying to study at kovan macs, then met songyao after he ended school and studied at lido. then pet demanded us to meet her at far east after her council meeting in the evening, and both of us ran like mad pigs with our jacket over our heads to cover us from the heavy rain. tsktsk! fernie came to join us too, then i met jaslyn to shop! i bought this dress! woooweeeee. i've no idea when i'll wear it though. :S

gave school a miss on thursday too and went back to sjc! performance was rather .. urm .. weird, but some were nice. (: becky had problems getting in but ended up getting in anyway! saw many old people and mr tan! haha i just walked pass fat susie lee ignoring her. she never fails to irk us out. after that clique hung out at cp! we practically stoned around and all. then toi went home and the rest of us went to ninny's house to watch the OC. kinda interesting though i don't really watch it. ha.

fridayy.. class outing! qibin themis rongcheng rachell fernie toi and i. upload pictures soon. i came the latest and we went to kbox.. i tell you it was hilarious because someone sang really WELL.... we were in the mercy of his ears.. hahah. ohwells. i shan't go into details. :/our birkenstocks has arrived by the way! yippeeeee. i'm thinking of getting another pair.. hmm. met jaslyn in the evening.. i miss her la. we used to go to marina south to have picnics and whine about how irritated we are, and go shopping the whole day and whatever nots. we don't even have time for ourselves now.

saturday, met songyao in the morning at toa payoh.. pet was supposed to come but don't know what happened to her! got kinda bored and did this on his calculator. masterpiece man! that ass had to clear my work and changed to "Song is Godlike." SHEEEESHHH! james came to meet us and i had to leave after awhile for tuition. then met arthur and tammy at j8 before going down to tuition together. arthur and i went down to town after tuition cos i wanted to collect my jeans i bought and altered the day before, and buy a shorts there! then studied at lido basement macs.. wasn't very productive cos we were talking most of the time! ha.

okay that's about it. today is bad. i haven't studied. i haven't even attempted to study..

Why did I let myself believe miracles could happen
Cause now I have to pretend that I don't really care
I thought you were my fairytale, a dream when I'm not sleeping
A wish upon a star that's coming true
But everybody else could tell that I confused my feelings with the truth
When there was me and you.

better days.

2006-08-24T22:58:00.000+08:00

And you ask me what I want this year

And I try to make this kind and clear

Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

Cuz I don't need boxes wrapped in strings

And desire and love and empty things

Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days.

photoshoot

2006-08-19T11:23:00.000+08:00

hanging by a moment here with you.

2006-08-16T20:35:00.000+08:00

been quite tired these few days..

quick updates..
1. pierced my nose 1 day after national day (responses: nice/ indian/ ah lian/ COW(?!) called by my parents! blah!)
2. volleyball is getting better and less dreadful (though still alittle) cos people there are actually quite nice (:
3. badminton photo-taking today (i looked sucky in the pics AS USUAL. ): saddening.)
4. i'm so addicted to band music! soooo wanna learn drums! plus set up a band! damn cool pleaseee.
5. 1T34 on birkenstocks spree online!

back from training. i'm so tired. i hate doing grandstands. we did 8 summore. i can so predict the size of my calves in a month or two. yucks! ): big bulky things. like mine isn't bulky enough. ha.

anyways. random thoughts on my mind. i miss my sec school friends.. the whole clique, 4F, hazel and jaslyn. blah!

Desperate for changing, starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started, I'm chasing after you
I'm falling even more in love with you, letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you.

fireworks with class!

2006-08-09T21:23:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NATIONAL DAYYY!

ytd morning, had a 7km walkathon from our school to macritchie. thankfully the weather was fine! with good company from toi chris and rachell and class. after the walk, the class went binching at Crystal jade! some cj teachers were queueing behind us too. ha. lunch was fun cos we managed to squeeze yet another hot and juicy insides from mr T! (: the moment he said that something, our whole table roared with laughter! embarassing cos it made the whole restaurant people turn to look. hah!

class outing last night; fireworks-seeing near esplanade! (:

after that traffic was seriously BAD! there were so so much people i could just roll and die. okay doesn't make sense. stoned around awhile finding places to sit cus we were all tired. even til midnight the buses were full. tsks. so chris, xiangli, bay and i cabbed home. hah.

hmmm i'm bored. i slept the whole afternoon today! rahh. zzz.

The streetlights flash in tempo with my heart that's poundin',
Although I haven't had a heart for days.
If I could just be honest, get my feelings off my chest,
And on your mind I could find the way.

Cause it's you that can break me and keep me on my back.
Cause it's you that can save me from falling into the black.

on my own.

2006-08-07T19:44:00.000+08:00

us at far east!

Now it seems that i have found nothing at all ;
I want to hear your voice out loud, slow it down ;
Without it all, I'm choking on nothing ;
It's clear in my head, and I'm screaming for something ;
Knowing nothing is better than knowing at all ;

the grass is always greener on the other side.

2006-08-06T10:34:00.000+08:00

The grass is always greener on the other side.

it's just so true for me.

When X is close to you, goes out with you, talks to you; you have Y in your mind. When X isn't close to you anymore, doesn't go out with you nor hold long conversations with you; you stop thinking about Y and have X constantly on your mind.
When someone cared too much and nagged too much, you wished they cared less for you. When they stop bothering you at all, you wished they had cared more.
Just like when i was in badminton, i wished to quit it. Now when badminton girls team no longer exists, i wished it would be back.
While you're discontented with your current life, someone else just wishes to have a life like yours. and while you want her kind of life instead, you both almost wished you could exchange places.

It just always seems better on the other side. When you've got this, you want that. When you've got that, you want the other. We just won't know what we've got till it's gone. Sigh!

I hate the feeling of knowing you were once so close to something you want so much now. And the feeling of helplessness, knowing you could have done so much more during that period instead of not treasuring what you have. Turn back time, please? :(

You say hello, inside I'm screaming I love you
You say goodnight, in my mindI'm sleeping next to you.
You drive away from my car crash of a heart
And I don't know...
But you gave me the best mixtape I have
And even all the bad songs ain't so bad
I just wish there was so much more than that,
About me and you..

converse

2006-08-04T20:44:00.000+08:00

me and my good ol' bitching partner the other day at heartland mall.
even bitchier than me. tsk tsk. ahah! joke.

feeling emo/ grumpy today. ):
well to sum up the things i did today,

stomachache in the morning
headed to sengkang polyclinic for MC
then to far east to change ryan's birthday shirt
headed to school at noon for mainly econs test, but upon seeing everyone chionging, i damn scared. so i just attended 2 hrs of GP with psychomama (stupid but true, shouldn't even have gone. -.-)
spent time with shi ting talking nonsense while waiting for the rest to finish econs test
towned with toiiiiiiii
bought MY FREAKING FIRST converse shoes ever! ha.
met xiang fernie and her friend desiree to study at ycs headquarters (2 streets away from my house!)

eck. i miss badminton.. like, alot.. the whole j1 team people, the j2 girls, and the sport itself... and i dislike jason liu for being so biased against the girls.... ): PET...! HAOWEN...! ):

you don't know what you mean to me.
no matter what i do, all i think about is you.

tired.

2006-07-31T23:10:00.000+08:00

the caught-giggling-in-the-toilet-by-brother-paul-and-made-to-pack-letters foursome, excluding fernie :(. haha well the picture tells all. our obsession with mirrors.

met jaslyn today! my old time shopper and bitching partner.. after 34793285175035 years! wohohh. shopped at.. heartland mall. lmao. sigh i rememeber the last time i saw her. met her on the bus coincidentally. and cried like a freak cus i hated school. i disliked my class. i disliked jc. but wells now's not the same. thank goodness! i like my class for now.

i'm tired and sleepy now.. sighs.

PTM

2006-07-29T20:59:00.000+08:00

hello. i am very bored now.. PTM today.. surprisingly lucy didn't say much to my parents! (: it was only when my mom asked about my performance in class, she said i was kinda slack in class. blah blah. anyways, check this out!

here's my dad's art piece. it states "CJC Parent/ Teacher Meeting, and the left person labelled "Joanna's Mom" and the right being "Joanna's Dad". haha joke. go figure. xD

even upon leaving the house, my dad tried to be funny by telling my mom: "aiya! forgot to bring paper bag." ahaha sheeesshhh.

and heard bad news. argh. arthur is NOT going to leave school... ): 1T34 will be behind him! ): okay i so needa study. but i've no drive to do so. haha kill me. i think i need a someone to slap me awake-- not literally. aiya. ):

sham's bday

2006-07-26T19:04:00.000+08:00

CANDID SHOT.
sham: everyone's supposed to kiss me!
(well look at everyone's reluctant faces hahaha hokay kidding)

happy birthday sham (:

You've come to say you want it all,
but I can't say I blame you now.
Sometimes you got to fall before you're found out.
Thanks for waiting this long to show yourself,
Because now that I can see you,
I don't think you're worth a second glance.

So much for all the promises you've made.
It served well and now you're gone
And they're wasted on me.
So much for your enduring sense of charm.
It served well and now you're gone
And it's wasted on me.

haha

2006-07-19T21:59:00.000+08:00

new language.

5 years of friendship and this is what happens.

hahaha

steamboat @ marina south!

2006-07-16T14:12:00.000+08:00

last thurs.. bro paul caught toi rachell fernie chrissy and me in the toilet and michael tan made us serve some sorta detention.. had to fold papers and insert em into envelopes. there were like almost 10,000 of them all right. and i wouldn't be surprised it it was more. ha! caught for what? for giggling in the toilet when we should've been in class. so lame!

anyway, finally met up with bestfriend finally yesterday. walked around and all. then 4F REUNION LAST NIGHT! steamboat @ marina south.. not really a class gathering since it was only 9 of us.. wheeee. but i'm so glad we finally met up after months!(: it was fun nonetheless.

my favourite vegetable kangkong!

nehnehs sisters

allevus! i look pregnant, stupid top!

some workers offered a lift for us back to marina bay mrt and we all sat on the lorry for the first time! freaking cool la. super windy and they drove super fast too. ha! we were screaming like mad asses.

Nothing seems to matter anymore, why cant it be just like it was before?
I hate you for the person i've become; Take me back to where it all begun.

F for Failure.

2006-07-12T18:52:00.000+08:00

i wish i were more hardworking, or maybe, smarter?

today isn't a good day at all.. spent half the day having on-and-off cryings like a mad ass ever since i got my GP paper.. i'm so disheartened by all my results. to the extent i've totally no motivation to study anymore... i only passed chinese? it's like shit bad. i've never done this horridly in exams in my life. i can't fail everything! i can't retain.... :( i know i have myself to blame, and i know that i did not put in my best, or should i say, not even 60% of my effort for this midyears.. but i feel like a failure already. haven't got back econs and geog, but i'm quite sure they're just gonna contribute to my collections of F grades..

i guess this is some kinda harsh wake-up call for me.

someone teach me to be happy and clever.

was so touched by tasha's motivation letter that it made me tear again.. and thanks to the lovely people in T34 today and others, who bothered consoling me and trying to cheer me up.. yall really really made me feel much better trying to make me laugh and stay positive.. you guys don't know how much it means to me. i love yall. <3

you could be my unintended choice.

2006-07-09T22:10:00.000+08:00

my sissy's 22nd birthday(: celebration at some japanese restaurant that name started with a 'K'.. at shaw centre.. nice nice! and we saw fiona xie dining there too.. she's damn pretty la.

well before that, project work over at fernie's house. was raining pigs and buffaloes and cows and chickens at my place.. wasn't very productive but we managed to sum up and complete our surveys. and i learnt that the pretty jester in The King And The Clown is daayyaaamn cute. and fernie said the show's sad! now i wanna catch it!

World Cup finals tonight. i haven't even done tomorrow's homework. doh!

would you be the star in my storybook life?

2006-07-08T21:46:00.000+08:00

thursday P.E was retarded. i was all set to run away halfway during P.E to avoid the crazy circuits jliu make us do, but i ended up completing everything. -.- except the last circuit where we ran 2 instead of 3 rounds lah. heck ha. runaway partner fernie didn't come so i partnered bailyn.. we were thinking of ways to run off during the first round of circuit but jliu was marking attendance! :( yup. tiring la. after awhile qibin partnered bay for running and i partnered henry.

after school, ate out with pet and songyao. first we went to far east ljs cos someone had craving for it. we ended up just crapping and not eating there. then decided to eat at level 3 chicken rice stall. but while walking there i heard lester and qibin, and yes, my class was at burger king! ha. then we headed to the chicken rice stall and fickle-minded us decided to go back to burger king to eat instead! haha we suck man. then later some left and it was left with qibin songyao lester pet and i.. omg qibin and songyao totally crapped! but hearing them argue was super duper funny! me and pet were giggling and curling like retarded worms.. then stupid songyao left as though in a hurry to go somewhere. and he left for what? to go home play dota. -.- SHEESH. anyways then we walked over to wheelock cos wanted to see some stuff in Apple then went home.

on friday, out with the class people.. xiangli bailyn arthur christine henry and toi. we had lunch at scotts crystal jade. finally! weekends nearing. all of us had xiao long bao! freaking nice!! the last time i had that was probably last year.. henry and I shared a stupid mango pudding which was so small and puny with fruits around it that cost 7 bucks. crystal jade cheaters. :(

xiangli's extra-extra-extra-chocolatey macs chocolate sundae! looks a lil like poopie :/

then ryan met us at lucky plaza, and we stoned for a little too long thinking of where to go.. i felt like going to sim lim sq to search for ipod accessories so toi and i left. then we decided not to go anymore and bought books in borders. haha reading is fun! especially those scary stories that keep you in suspense.. bought this stephen king book. met the class again and walked around before heading to ps.. toi and i were feeling rather tired and bored with life. we walked around again before heading back home. haa.

todayyy had tuition. then went to town and got myself a bikini set in topshop! wheee. damn nice la. not like i'm a frequent tanner or have a good body, but my sis suggested tanning tmr so well why not..
anyway, i think brother paul rocks. he's letting us stay up to watch the World Cup finals on sunday night and so we can go to school at 9am on monday! cool or what.

So do we dare now raise our voices loud?
We're searching for something that cannot be found.

shoppings.

2006-07-05T13:26:00.000+08:00

hello world. i'm feeling much better now. thank you for those who asked about my insanity last night like toi yenkiat arthur joleen lester and blah blah.

on sunday met pet in the late afternoon! i was freaking bored and home. some were sick and fernie had to go out with her aunt. so pet was free and i dragged her out! haha. we met at j8 and got bored walking there. so we went to town to shop around..

monday, youth dayy. out with songyao and pet. okay, so it was supposed to be that way. but we met kiat, and songyao pangsehed us to play lan! haa. okay not really pangseh. we told him to go off with kiat. but owell. then he said he felt like watching movie after lanning and asked us to get tickets for him first. so we went to The Cathay to get tickets for just my luck. but only left first row. then we went back to ps, and it was selling fast also left with first row. poots. so nevermind didn't watch in the end.. pet and i took a bus down to marina square and checked out the timings there. also left with first row seats! and worse of all it was only 3 metres away from the screen! ahah that's crazy.. then we felt like eating popcorns.. damn lame we bought popcorns and walked around eating. hilarious. haha. who ever does that? oh oh yes, i bought a light blue denim jacket in Mango! used to be $75 bucks but i bought it for $35. hahaa. like 50% off lah. <3 !

yesterday was first day of school. nothing much happened but i'm pretty satisfied with my class seatings now! finally me and toi aren't sitting at the first row! haha. toi wasn't feeling well so she went home at 10am. after school, class went lunch. namely qibin henry lester rongcheng randall ryan serene and that the-one-who-never-fails-to-irritate. wasted abit of time deciding on where to eat cos some wanted sakae and some wanted far east chicken rice.. finally agreed to go thai expressed. toi came cos she felt better already. then some went back to school, some went peninsular plaza, and me toi henry and ryan went marina square. toi wanted to! that place is like getting really boring now since i've been going there. then henry and ryan went off after awhile and toi and i continued shopping. blah. boring life i have. haha.

skipped school today. mom was being much better now.. 7 people in my class didn't go. and 9 including arthur and randall. hahah better get mc. alright i gotta go polyclinic now. ciao!

SHUT THE FUCK UP

2006-07-04T21:09:00.000+08:00

SHUT UP AND EFF OFF.

i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you! i am angry enough these days and you just have to add on to it! stop mentioning small stupid stuffs and stop being so unreasonable!!

and recently i'm super turned off by people with attitude. hello? i try to be nice only to get lousy and retarded reactions. it's just pissing me off more and i think i shouldn't really bother being so nice to you all anyway. i don't think i shall even try tolerating anymore. everytime i tell myself there's sure the better side of the person. i thought i saw it in them but these few days they just can't stop irritating the shit outta me. so, what's the use trying? disgusting.

on a lighter note, some of my friends are great. i have totally no mood to blog about what has happened these few days but yes outings' been great.

i think i'm being totally emo now but heck it. this is so dumb. i think i'm being my own problem.. but my PMS will end soon.

BYE.

boring saturday.

2006-07-01T20:51:00.000+08:00

today's been a boring day. went fer tuition then headed to j8 to get some stuffs. then went home for dinner. sukiyaki! damn nice please. dad invited my relatives over too.. hmm now slacking here. toi and some ppl wanted to watch tonight's soccer together but mom doesn't like the idea. grrr. ok i ain't even interested in soccer but today's draw sounds exciting.. probably gg to david's house with sis to watch instead. hmmm.

i miss chij uniform. i wanna wear it out la. lol. MONDAY!

exams over!

2006-06-30T10:30:00.000+08:00

mid-years are finally OVER! anyways, i'm prepared for straight Fs and i ain't kidding.. i already lost 10 marks for econs and 20 marks for maths cus i left em blank.. yep. and chem was a killer, they had 134687912 million questions on mol calculations which i did not study. ahha crap man. i barely touched geog even though it was an easy paper. so yeah.

wednesday after last exam, geog, went shopping with rachell and ryan. the rest of the class went off earlier right after NE paper and watched Silent Hill, which i heard was crap. haha. then after their show we all met up and went for dinner. people namely toi arthur nicholas ryan henry and lester. themis went off after hearing we were gonna eat at sakae, in which we did not in the end. lol. after dinner some went home, but arthur henry ryan toi and me went over to monstercue to play pool. crap man but pool is quite fun. haven't played for ages.

yesterday went out with songyao and petrina in the afternoon. haowen pangsehed us for her friend and didn't even meet us. boo. james and bunz were somewhere else. kiat had paper on friday so couldn't come. haha songyao wanted to play dota, and we didn't really want to, so we went to marina square and shopped for awhile. we got songyao to try on some topman long-sleeved collar shirt. damn nice la! he should buy it! we merely went into about 3 clothes store and poor songyao looked so freaking bored and dead, so we just went to play dota with him. me and pet played against him and i think we were soon losing badly. haha two noobs against a pro. then weiliang came and he came to play and owned la.

then went to play pool, and me and pet went to walk around for awhile. then songyao went off at the evening to meet other ppl. so pet weiliang and i went to suntec's fish & co! i don't like that outlet though.. the place just seem so hot and toilet-ish. haha. but damn cool la, pet just got to know him and i just got to hold a proper conversation with him the 1st time in my entire life despite talking to him alot since sec1 or sec2, but we still could talk quite much. after dinner we walked and delayed big time thinking of where to stone so we went to starbucks to slack and talk rubbish. weiliang is nice! not like other sji badminton ego-obsessed people like ... ahah. oh yes, lester was so nice, so called me to ask if i'd want the choc covered marshmallow cos he was at candy empire! and he even walked over to suntec's fish & co to pass it to me. teehee.

oh yes. i complained to Apple about my iPod dysfunctioning, and they're gonna gimme a new replacement today! the thing is after i hung up their call yday, my ipod starting working alright. so i was being psychotic this morning to attempt to screw it up. hoho. class outing this afternoon. till then,

A falling star ; Least I fall alone.
I can't explain what you can't explain
You're finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain.
The walls start breathing, my mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening, I give the final blow.

@ burgerking bugis.

2006-06-24T23:57:00.001+08:00

fellow nancies and fellow crapmates. classmates from sec 1 even to jc. amazing how we survived through so many academic streamings and rearrangements of classes yet still end up together, somehow. we miss ms nics around class.

you could be my unintended choice
to live my life extended

dead for the MYEs.

2006-06-24T12:42:00.000+08:00

chem SPA yesterday was rather okay. headed to lido with the class, namely qibin lester charmaine themis ryan henry toi chris xiangli and bay. was supposed to study but the class kept talking so much i couldn't help joining in. haha we heard themis' love courtship story! ...!! argh. i need the drive to study. can't seem to find it.

hmmm i think i've lost my motivation to study.

i don't know why i'm still shopping online and watching tv. i feel a sense of urgency in my studies but i just can't bring myself to start today. :(

my life seems to just revolve around shopping and studies. what lacklustre. i wish there was more to worry about, more to be happy about, more to look forward to. i'm going to take a nap for now. zzz.

mum's birthdayy.. together with ROYCE chocolates and a wallet. (:

have you ever? quiz

2006-06-21T21:24:00.000+08:00

Have You Ever~
( ) smoked a cigarette
( ) smoked a cigar
( ) made out with a member of the same sex
(x) been in love
(x) been dumped
( ) stolen
( ) been fired
( ) been in a fight
( ) snuck out of my parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested
( ) made out with a stranger
( ) gone on a blind date
(x) had a crush on a teacher
(x) skipped school
( ) slept with a coworker
( ) seen someone die
( ) had a crush on one of your blogging friends
( ) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
( ) thrown up in a bar
( ) purposely set a part of myself on fire
(x) eaten Sushi
( ) been snowboarding
( ) met someone in person from the blogosphere
( ) been hxc dancing at a show
( ) been in an abusive relationship
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love someone or miss someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
( ) made a snow angel
(x) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
( ) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up
( ) jumped into a pile of leaves
( ) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
( ) used a fake id
(x) watched the sun set
( ) felt an earthquake
( ) touched a snake
(x) slept beneath the stars
(x) been tickled
( ) been robbed
(x) been misunderstood
(x) pet a reindeer/goat
(x) won a contest
(x) run a red light
( ) been suspended from school
( ) been in a car accident
(x) had braces
(x) felt like an outcast
( ) eaten a wholepint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
( ) danced in the moonlight
(x) hated the way you look
( ) witnessed a crime
( ) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes
( ) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
(x) been to the opposite side of the country
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons/coloredpencils/markers
(x) sung karaoke
(x) paid for something with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
( ) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
( ) caught a snowflake on your tongue
( ) danced in the rain
( ) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe
( ) watched the sun set with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
( ) made a bonfire
( ) crashed a party
( ) gone roller-skating
(x) had a wish come true
( ) humped a monkey
(x) worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
( ) screamed penis in class
( ) ate dog/cat food
( ) told a complete stranger you loved them
(x) kissed a mirror
(x) sang in the shower
( ) have a little black dress
( ) had a dream that you married someone
(x) glued your hand to something
( ) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
( ) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sexes clothes
( ) been a cheerleader
( ) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
( ) didn't take a shower for a week
( ) pick and ate an apple right off the tree
( ) climbed a tree
( ) had a tree house
( ) are too scared to watch scary movies alone
(x) believe in ghosts
( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
( ) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
( ) gone streaking
( ) played ding-dong ditch
( ) played chicken [in the pool]
(x) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) been asked for contact number by a complete stranger
( ) broken a bone
(x) been easily amused
( ) caught a fish then ate it
( ) made porn
( ) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
( ) mooned/flashed someone
(x) had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test
(x) have a Britney Spears CD
(x) forgotten someone's name
( ) slept naked
( ) French braided someone's hair
( ) gone skinny dippin in a pool
( ) been kicked out of your house
( ) ridden a horse bareback
( ) eaten a lobster you caught yourself
( ) killed another human being

haha BORED. hmm. i hate disappointments.
buffet dinner was crazily filling tonight. i'm so full and round i might roll now.. and i've no idea why i'm doing this quiz now when CHEM ALEVEL SPA is THIS FRIDAY.!! i've let myself down. sigh. and oh yeah, i feel real bad for mr lester low. :( ok anyway. tata.

SMU study session!

2006-06-19T22:05:00.000+08:00

studying at SMU with badminton ppl wasn't exactly productive.. but.. the environment is SUPER CONDUCIVE cos the students were having holidays. damn empty and all. which makes it abit creepy i must say.. we had our own study group room. which was cool cos almost every room was empty, so we picked the one with the biggest table.. didn't get to learn anything in econs nor maths, but there's 4 new things i learned.

1. Haowen can never stay quiet and study for more than half a minute.
2. My dota hero is called Lina Inverse!
3. Songyao has a very, weird laughter that sounds like a breathless high-pitched horse.
4. Yenkiat is blurrer than i thought he is, and stones alot.

us! yes we looked like muggers with our tables messed up with books, but heck no. crapping all the way la. damn funny and entertaining seeing haowen and songyao arguing. ahha pet should've been there.

I LOVE THE BADMINTON PPL! <3 including others not in photo :B

fathers' day.

2006-06-18T20:58:00.002+08:00

FATHERS' DAY! i woke up exactly at noon and something shook me that reminded me it was Fathers' Day. i panicked of course, cus it kinda slipped my mind yday to prepare, so i haven't got anything, not even a card.. then my dad told us there isn't a need to get him anything.. oh yea, i attempted to tan outside my room at the 2nd level roof! teehee. sun was tempting. okay i stayed there for bout 15 mins before mom screamed for me to have lunch. not a bad place though. lol.

afternoon i went down to heartland mall to get stuffs for dad.. sis had work attachments so she couldn't help. went to ps and back to heartland again. bumped into bailyn!
okay overall nothing much happened today. didn't go out for dinner cus mom had stomachache in the evening. ha. and while i'm blogging now, my dad's downstairs watching tv and hasn't seen his gifts. got him a whole piece honey baked chicken that we consumed for dinner too. he wanted a new badminton shorts all along so i thought i could get him one. i hope it isn't too tight! i still remembered how my sis bought underwear for dad's birthday a few years back! HILARIOUS. it was too tight for him. tsktsk.

so i'll hit the pavement its gotta be better than waiting
and pushing you far away cause i'm scared
so i'll take my chances and head on my way up there
cause turning to you is like falling in love when you're ten

i'm not in love.

2006-06-17T21:34:00.000+08:00

I'm not in love, so don't forget it. It's just a silly phase I'm going through.
And just because I call you up, Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made.
I'm not in love, no no, it's because...

I like to see you, but then again, that doesn't mean you mean that much to me.
So if I call you, don't make a fuzz; Don't tell your friends about the two of us.
I'm not in love, no no, it's because...

I keep your picture upon the wall, it hides a nasty stain that's lying there.
So don't you ask me to give it back. I know you know it doesn't mean that much to me.
I'm not in love, no no, it's because...

Ooh, you'll wait a long time for me. Ooh, you'll wait a long time.
I'm not in love, I hope I'm not in love... ...

New nike shoulder bag! (: Something new i suppose? kind of like a sling bag. Nothing really like my NewUrbanMale, Abercombie&Fitch or Nike tote bag i usually bring to school. whee. okay there's nothing to blog about now. zzz parents are back from genting.. this is a boring night. tata.

you hollow out my hungry eyes.

2006-06-16T20:48:00.000+08:00

this is funny. it makes sense yet it's stupid! haha.

okay so last night pet last minute decided we should all go for the SJI friendlies so yeah woke up early to go there.. SJI looks like the much bigger version of old tiny cjc. so stupid lah i played singles against this small boy and lost so badly. ahaha i suck. i warned alex bout my inexperience in singles anyway but he just made me do it. lmao.

after friendlies, went to wheelock nydc to eat together with marie nadya and pet.. didn't eat much! then marie and nadya went off, while pet and i walked around.. ended up reserving a black nike bag which looks ordinary yet nice. hmmm still considering though.. after awhile we went home. too tired to move already! haa. saw haowen kiat and her 2 friends in the bus home. stupid haowen is a major pangseher la. nevermindd.. i love pet and pet loves me. i love haowen but haowen hates me. :( she only loves kiat. nevermindd..

okay MI gang studying at bishan macs but apparently i slept and my phone was switched off cos the batt was flat! sheesshh missed another studying session. but i'm much more awake now.

nevermind the pain.

2006-06-16T00:00:00.000+08:00

went for geog consultation in the morning with rachell and sara.. we were supposed to meet mr lester low at 10am but only reached school altogether at 10.40am. hoho retarded. but it was a productive session. we sucked at geog, especially rachell and i! we didn't even know what plate tectonics really is and how the formation of volcanoes differ from the formation of mountains. haha how much worse can that get! oh oh and we got to know bout this funny term, whereby one can die instantly when covered in a floating layer of poisonous gas mixed with the ashes and rocks of a volcanic eruption moving as fast as 120km/hr. the layer just burns you instantly and casts you into a solid stone. omggg. like some action blockbuster film!

after geog rachell and i shopped around town for awhile before heading to ps for the supposed class outing. lester got quite pissed off cos of the people who decided not to go for the outing only at the last minute so he just cancelled it. but he was with fernie so we both just met them. rachell went off after awhile and we had lunch before heading to bugis! shop shop shop! i reserved a couple of tops. shucks i'm super spendthrift. rah.

fern and me at bugis junction. i swear we were bold enough to take snaps infront of the big crowds. :p

after bugis, met up with the MI gang, namely toi sham kenghee lowyon and glenn! yepyeps. studied for a while before getting chased out by yoshinoya's auntie. hmm. then the guys went to eat and all headed home.

i'm really tired now. didn't sleep that much last night. sigh. oh yes billy and i watched Cars at j8 then he came to stayover to study last night. yes shan't go into details cos he's an ass. even harder to wake up than me. pig man. ha. okay. and tomorrow there's supposed to be some kind of friendly match with SJI but me and pet are still deciding on whether to go or not... haha we suck la we can't make up our mind despite discussing it for an hour!

something else i got to know bout myself today. i'm super weird cos reverse psychology definitely works for me? sucks right. always wanting things that i can't have.. and not wanting the things that are easier to get. it's so dumb but i can't help myself from feeling this way. this TERRI understands best! ;) sorry everyone for moodswinging these few days. only happens when i'm tired or stressed over an issue, sometimes happens even without a reason. but nevermind i can get over it. tonight something spoilt my mood and lowered my confidence level, but i think i'm thinking a little too much..

once again, here saying i love my friends. i think they make me happy the most and sometimes i take advantage of the fact that i have great friends. i always feel so much warmth around them, and nothing can replace that feeling. and even around our crushes, they bring you the greatest state of high, in fact sometimes you may even feel happier with them than around your friends, but how long can this happiness and feeling last? how constant will they be in making you feel loved? well, been there, done that. what for be so disturbed and affected by someone you like whom have made you real happy once, but hurt you real bad twice?

alright. ah well. easier said than done?

okay i'm talking too much! gonna see what's on tv now. ciaos.

nic's bday!

2006-06-14T22:30:00.000+08:00

hello there. been quite long since i updated.. anyways. been one heckeva busy week, at least i think so.. haven't been studying! oh my goodness! last thursday went with MI people lowyon glenn and joel, plus toi and sham to bugis for the midnight sale. from 9 to 12, there's storewide of 20% discount. was supposed to go to the airport to fetch my mom but i was too late! mom's plane set in early and parents got kinda angry for me being so late that they told me not to go airport anymore. keng hee came later. finally got to see him after a few months i suppose! ahha. got a white topshop top and went home earlier..

monday met up with toi sham and becky to do up nic's bday card! yep yep. in the later evening, went over to parkway parade to meet ryan to study. sure man, study! i turned up almost an hour late. sigh! i ought to correct this flaw of mine! lack of punctuality! tsktsk. ended up talking and introing songs. would've been more productive if it had been longer.

tuesdayy. nickee's surprise birthday partyy!
the rest did a model of her old house which held loads of memories, which was super sweet i must really say.. nelson and nic came down from their class chalet and nic was blindfolded from in the taxi all the way to her house.

below, nelson trying to get the blindfolded-nic to the bbq area. hehs.

then we started off with bbq. kind of like potluck cus we got different kinds of food. yum! and then went to karaoke room. they ended up dancing and being retarded, and at that same time i kind of got emotional and some mood swing. stupid me. haha. but overall it was fun! kind of like chalet once again, just that this time it's a one-day thing. (:

below, all of us! (: but without beryl ):

today, nic officially turned SEVENTEEN! and qi went off to thailand! hmm. we went over to her house again. supposed to have a pool (swim) cum pool (billard) party.. sham went down to gardens to help get a choc cheesecake for the birthday girl.. then had the birthday cake and hung around the house for awhile.. then beryl had really bad cramps she had to go home.. and sheila and ninny went off to make sure she's alright as well.. so it was left with me, nat, becky, toi, sham, nelson and birthday girl. pool reservations were over so we played some game with alcohol. yes i got jacked the most! now i have 2 pending dares. ahha.

below, me nat becky toi squashed on nic's bed.

alrighty that's about it.. till then.. ciao!

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house that don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok but that's not what gets me

What hurts the most was being so close
And having so much to say, and watching you walk away
And never knowing what could have been
And not seeing that loving you is what I was trying to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go but I'm doing It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken.

etched with marks but i can deal.

2006-06-07T12:22:00.000+08:00

NIKE MERGE WATCH! Transit! so niceeeee. i've fallen in love with the designs la. but it's daylight robbery, Transit is selling at $259! but it's sooo cool i might get it!

anyways, lemme recall what i did since saturday. Sunday, out with dad to suntec convention centre cos he wanted to go to the world book fair.. i bought 2 books and there was the factory outlet sales too! i bought an abercombie and fitch bag and 2 tops! then we had lunch and met toi to study! quite a rare activity we do together cus we usually end up talking and crapping la. haha. went to carl's junior at marina sq and we actually studied quite a bit. heh. then by evening we decided to go play dota, which is, like my first time ever playing. sheesh, influenced by the badminton guys and mi guys already. i was totally clueless on how the game works i think i had questions to ask every few seconds. even myself got irritated. haha we both played against the comp at 'beginner' mode somemore! okay i'm a noob la i got pawned by the comp quite a few times, but we still won em in an hour. it's quite fun when you play an hour or two, but i still can't understand how some guys can play dota for 4/ 5 or maybe even 6 hours without getting bored.

monday, supposed to have a mini class outing at noon to The Cathay to watch She's The Man. but i didn't have alot of money and didn't wanna spend it on a movie, so kinda rotted at home till 2pm when billy and i decided to study! yeah yeah, study again. haven't met him since the march hols! i suggested woodlands library but he thought yishun would be nearer, so we went to northpoint's starbucks. he had lunch first then we studied for a mere one hour or so. not that productive but i did learn something! we got restless and bored of the wooden chairs so we went over to Popular to check out books, then checked out the dyes at Watsons cus he wanted browner hair.. so we shared a Revlon Dark Auburn dye! then we went to the cinema cus he felt like watching a movie. there weren't any good movies but we settled on Over The Hedge since he wanted to watch something. and yeah i only gave in cus he owed me some bucks last time and so he paid for my movie. haha. the movie's quite cute, quite similar to Madagascar. i like hammy! and he does not look like me please. chrissy fernie sara tasha and toi says so. omggg.

was already bout 9++pm after the movie, but he was enthu bout dying our hair cus he couldn't wait till thurs morning to do so. we kept thinking of possible places that we could do so at that time. together not my house, not his, we even considered our neighbours' house or friends' house. then i thought of my club! yes yes. The Pines. so we headed over and dyed our hair there. hilarious. but i think it's damn cool. got towels supposedly used for swimming to cover ourselves from the dye, if the management ever finds out we were dying our hair with their towels, i wonder what might happen. hoho. slacked at the pool side tables for 45 mins before washing off. too afraid to not have any colour results after that, we intended to use up the whole bottle. ha. okay we ended up with a slight reddish tone of hair, there's a change but it isn't very obvious until we go under the light. yep! the last time i dyed, the colour wasn't even obvious even under light, but it started showing and getting lighter after 2 months. so, if we dyed and already see visible results, the worse is yet to come. (:

ahh. no pictures. ): mom's in china with my camera. ecks.

yesterday, studied at the airport with ryan. we were supposed to chiong from 8.30am. something told me he overslept so at 8, i called him and as expected, he just woke up! we dragged and all, until we met at 10am. ha. studied at T2 macs from about 10.30am to 7pm! not too bad actually, we didn't even take walking breaks besides the times we went toilet or eat our macs lunch. but still cannot compare to me and sham during the Olevels period. I loved the times la. feeling the pressure of doing well and all, so challenging. hoho. after that i went down to meet toi at bugis. we shopped and i reserved 2 tops! nicee <33

okay i think i sound like an auntie. anyways i think i'm gonna head for the gym then shopping with my sis! must value GSS as it comes. lmao. till then.

Yesterday was hell,
But today I'm fine without you, run away this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be, that face is tearing holes in me
But today I'm fine without you, run away this time without you
And all the things you put me through, I'm holding on by letting go of you.

badminton outing!

2006-06-03T12:17:00.000+08:00

J1 badminton outing yesterday.. the first proper outing excluding study sessions. which consisted of only me, petrina, ryan, songyao and james. yenkiat and zac didn't come, plus bunz who wanted to attend lit consultation in school. he's scaring the shit outta me for being so studious. omggg. met ryan around noon first to "study".. ended up reaching almost an hour late and went to have our lunch. started studying only at about 3.30.. then pet came after awhile and we went over to cine to meet songyao and james. that two guys were busy playing dota at paradiz that we had to miss our 3.55pm M:I:3 show. ): haowen another one, last minute say can't watch. we went to cine in hopes of watching the 4.50pm M:I:3 slot, but that time slot was fully sold out! eck. had no choice but to watch something else, which we were deciding on Over The Hedge or The Benchwarmers. watched The Benchwarmers instead, and it was kind of stupid. some of the parts were funny but most of the time they try to make viewers laugh by showing this guy fall or slide or fart etc, which i could see the director/ prodcer was trying a little too hard to make the movie funny? haha but overall wasn't that bad i suppose..

after the movie we met haowen at the basement footcourt and she was with her friend. talked abit then she and her friend went off, and songyao went off later too. so the 4 of us left, namely ryan james pet and me went to The Cathay's starbucks to study. quite a noisy place but managed to study abit anyhow. studied for about 2 hrs till 10pm when music started getting louder and i could hear 10 million conversations being heard at once in my head, plus the blending sound of the coffeebeans. haha. we left and headed home.

me pet james ryan outside The Cathay.

CHALET!

2006-06-02T11:36:00.000+08:00

Back from chalet! it was fun! sigh.. i miss the clique. the 3 days 2 nights just wasn't enough! :( first day, toi and i rushed down from school to meet the rest at the chalet. was half dead upon reaching. haha. my heavy bag was weighing me down! anyways, we all got ready and left for the vaunt @ mos party.

left: us! before heading to vaunt.

Reached at like 8 plus.. the queue was hell longggg!! i met pokiat and clarence to get mine and nic's friends tickets. thankfully we did cus they helped us to get in instantly. haha, simply, by cutting the queue right at the front? but owells. if not for them we would've been stuck outside forever?! hah all thanks to them man. got in, and it wasn't very crowded yet, and the party had not really started. so we went over to liang court macs to eat.. went back at bout 10pm when there was this stupid show going on.. kelly poon was invited to sing, kumar was like cracking lame racist jokes bout his own race and there was a modelling/ designing competition. there were so many ppl pushing and squeezing frankly it wasn't very enjoyable. at 11.30pm finally music was played. but still not a very good event that day. too many ppl we couldn't even dance properly. urgh.

left: nehnehs sisters forevaaaa~~~~ lol.

Second day, we all woke up at like 1pm.. went to tampines mall to watch X Men 3.. the show's nice! but xavier and scott and jean gray died! :( so stupid, the 3 main XMen characters died. but fernie said we missed the last part after the credits. they said xavier didn't die! hoho. so yeah, expect another X Men 4 coming up.

after movie we went back to downtown east for dinner. we were supposed to go to Escape cus we had 8 complimentary tickets cus of our chalet.. but the stupid theme park was closed, so we just went for dinner, watched teevee (surprisingly enjoyable watching with the clique, expecially Incredible Tales! haha), then we played Kings and I Never. Freaking fun! lots of laughter.. had to do stupid stuffs but i thought my dares were cool. =/ We got drinks and i got kind of high. me, qi and nat had bloated tomato red faces and we all got high. so did sheila and toi. the rest were sober. at about 2am we called it a day and got to our beds. toi and i started having a quarrel and me going "go back to your fat spot lah!" haha HILARIOUS. we broke out laughing at how lame the quarrel was and all. but then she broke down after that, not cos of me of course! sigh.. all the things alcohol can do to you. trigger your emotions..

the next day, and the last day, we woke up for breakfast then went to Escape! teehee the last time i went there was when in sec 1, 4 years ago with toi and sham! we first headed to the flume ride. we sat twice. although i'm a scaddy cat, i love the thrill of being scared and the uncontrolled velocity. muahhaaaha. then to all the rest.. we sat all the rides but sheila ninny nic and i didn't sit pepsi. but it was fun lah! we got SUPER WET from the flume ride and the water-squirting ride. then it started to rain and we stayed in burger king til rain subsided. then we all went home..

Sigh! wonderful 3 days ended so quickly... :((((( didn't take much photos though. cam was on low batt before i even snapped a few decent photos.

Met part of the class at changi airport after that. half dragging myself cos i was so so so tired. they were sending the band ppl, namely, henry rachell and nicholas, off to thailand. serene xiling and shiting were there too, but they left for home while me, lester, fernie and xiling went to burger king at terminal 2 to 'study'. ended up talking about life and death issues and religions. haha i couldn't take it cos my hair wasn't in a nice shape cos of the wet rides i took in the morning and cos i tied my hair before that. i went to the toilet and used the water spray to wash my hair with shampoo i used in chalet of course. lmao. felt much better after that! then we went up to macs to study instead.. xiling went home.

we 3 didn't have the mood to study so we ended up doing stupid stuffs like playing Shoot, Shag, Marry thought by haowen, and competing on who can write the fastest with two hands writing two different words. ha ha. ryan came then we made him play Shoot, Shag, Marry too. then played I Never and Mini Kings where we used EZ link cards instead of poker cards and the EZ link card with Fat Ryan was the king. so funny. i thought of cool dares for the kings in hopes to watch a good show but ended up getting myself in it! ugh! ha. all the dares were namely licking fingers, licking ears, kissing cheek, sitting on lap and hugging. ahah! nothing overboard since there were guys and girls and we were in public. and instead of drinking alcohol as the punishment in I Never, the punishment was to donate 10 cents each time. Lester's mounted up to $2, while mine and fernie's was $2.50, and ryan was jacked, haha $3.. we're gonna use the total $10 to buy something for ourselves. cool huh. after that it was already 10 plus, so we all went home.

a stupid shot taken when ryan had to lick lester's ear. haha. abit too quick la! sigh!

i could get used to this.

2006-05-29T22:47:00.000+08:00

done up my new template! i'm proud of it. haha ripped off the graphics from the L'Amour nokia designs and did photoshop to merge the stuffs and create the background. nice right?! the june hols are here. but doesn't really seem like the holidays to me..

went back to school today for chem lecture in the morning. after that went with most of the class to coronation plaza for lunch at some funny budget restaurant and shared a meal with lester.. after that some went for cca and we, xiangli lester charmaine serene shiting and themis, went to candy empire @ millenia walk! xiangli bought $20 worth of chocolates.. i just got this marshmallow covered chocolate bar which was FREAKING NICE TO EAT! <3 ask the rest cos they tried it too. then we took a shuttle bus to raffles city cus charmaine and others wanted to eat at subway.. talked quite a bit.. funny la. then some of us left.

went to meet jason and terri at lido.. supposedly "IG outing". very funny. only 3 ppl turned up. haha. yolanda couldn't make it. we watched Da Vinci Code.. was kinda wordy and all, but managed to understand the story after much questions. haa.

okay i gotta run. clique chalet tomorrow! (: i'm finally gonna see them after quite a long time..! till then..

i lie awake at night, see things in black and white
i've only got you inside my mind, you know you have made me blind ;

crash and burn.

2006-05-27T22:15:00.000+08:00

thursday, cjc school day-off due to the elections holiday couple of weeks ago. i thought i could stay home to revise and study for my gp mid-year exam paper the next day. but, no! ended up at the comp and tv most of the time. what's up with me man! hmmm. that was such a unproductive day..

friday, went to school for gp MYE, as mentioned above.. paper 1 was okay, i hope i didn't write out of point.. i tried my best to crap out as much. paper 2 was not too good.. i totally had no clue what the author was talking about until i read it again and again and again. i only started to do my AQ which was worth 7 marks during the last 15 mins of the paper! and i left one question totally blank. hmmm. hope i can pass or something!

after school, class split up.. bailyn toi arthur and fernie had detention and some went to far east.. just slacked around with the 4 ppl doing detention. then met some others in town and went to amk together like on wednesday..

i think 1T34's getting much better now.. maybe a lil more united. i'm so glad every single one in 1T34 came down for the service to support chris.. seeing everyone turn up despite staying so far. like xiling who stays in queenstown, angeline who stays around harbourfront, arthur randall fernie rongcheng lydia staying at the bukit timah/bukit merah area, rachell toi lester etc etc staying at town area, charmaine henry ryan staying at eunos area.. and all the rest.. having to come down to ang mo kio, really shows the sincerity.. and chrissy you're sucha strong girl. (:

and like what lester said in his blog, i really think themis has helped the class bond a great deal. without him, imagine how little topics and entertainment there'd be in class. and he can be quite nice and helpful sometimes.

today, dental in the morning cus there were some faults in my braces. then, headed for the gym! and my gosh, i forgot i needed money to get into the gym and used it up on cabbing, and i was short of 10 cents to get in! the BIGGEST JOKE of the century. i spent 15 to maybe even 30 mins loitering around finding loose change on the floor, till i lost my patience and decided to approach a kind stranger for 10 stupid cents instead. ahha. i felt like a beggar. 3km run and some other machines then headed home.

the sun was irresistably bright at 12 NOON so i put on suntan lotion and ran out to my garden to tan! ok i know i'm psychotic. sat behind the walls though. cos there were a group of banglas opposite doing construction work.. but after 20 mins i went in cos mom got home and she says i'm crazy and that i might get skin cancer under that sun. -.- haaa. went for tuition in the afternoon..
that sums up my day.

I wish I could be every little thing you wanted, all the time
I wish I could be every little thing you wanted, all the time
some times..

live for the moment.

2006-05-25T21:23:00.000+08:00

How do you walk away from someone you love
And take the road of friend?
Can you reroute the course you have taken
And start over once again?

I don't really want to let you go
But inside me I know I must;
The times we've loved... the times you've left
My heart says stay... but it's my mind I must trust.

We have shared so much together
Laughter... fun times... tears;
Yet sometimes we can't turn back time
We must walk away, and allow ourselves to heal.

I know one day you will be happy
And your soulmate you will find;
I know we each have one out there
Even if for now... only in our minds.

May life be gentle with you
May God's best come your way;
And on some quiet tomorrow
You will realize things were better this way.

life's uncertainties.

2006-05-25T10:23:00.000+08:00

haven't blogged for quite some time.. dental appointment on monday night, and the dentist suddenly told me he feels i should do extractions. the fickle-minded me kept thinking to myself if i should extract my teeth. in the end i extracted two of my top pre-molars! the 4 total injections they gave me on my gums were pain lah.. after extraction, i had to bite on some white gauze for every half an hour to stop the bleeding. mine never stopped till about 2 hours later! if i didn't bite the gauze hard enough, blood would drip out. eww. i couldn't even have my dinner. by the late night, i felt body aches and started getting a fever and it continued to the next 2 days. still went to school though. sis and toi said it's cos of an infection through the extraction.

tuesday, class celebrated qibin's birthday and gave him a wallet. then outing at far east after school, without the birthday boy. part of the class went subway to eat, while me toi and chris went to the level 3 chicken rice stall! <3 met this woman doing some tv show outside far east and she wanted to pick out 3 ppl to do an interview on our views on down syndrome. toi and chris were so willing to help until they walked over with her and saw a freaking camera. haha. the guys just went off. we were left trying to reject the woman. other than that, nothing much happened.

wednesday, bad news heard in the morning.. was kind of affected by what had happened. had just quarreled with my parents that morning, and that news i heard made me wanna reflect on myself. and i felt very bad for her.. ok enough of that, but i was late for school by merely 3 mins? then michael tan wanted to speak to all those in my class who didn't turn up last thursday and without an mc, cus our class had the record of the most number of ppl (10 to be exact) to be absent that day in the whole level. zzz. and i was one of em. he made us do detention on either the day itself or fri so i killed 2 birds with 1 stone! served both on the same day. phew.

so after school, studied at library with badminton ppl, namely petty songyao yenkiat james. haowen came for less than 20 minutes. -.- then i left for detention at 5.. served together with ryan and angeline. then after that rachell and henry ended cca so all of us went down together to amk by train.. yenkiat came along too. reached there just in time for the service.. most of our classmates were there too. bro paul and lucy lee also came. she was so strong..! i totally admire her for that.. at the end of the service, we sent our condolences to the family and seeing her, her family and people around me crying, i couldn't help but do the same, a lil. learnt alot yesterday.

went home with bailyn.. we walked from ave 6 to the 136 bus stop at the mrt. not too far, probably bout 2 to 3 bus stops away. but our bags were damn heavy and it had been a long day la. oh yes. we got on the 136 bus and we found out something so silly we could cry. the bus actually passed by the place we left! ave 6! ahh. damn silly of me, didn't know it goes to that stop. we tried consoling ourselves that it's exercise for us haha. hmm. talked about quite alot of stuffs and it's damn cool that we've the exact sentiments and thinking about many issues. ha.

that's about it.. today's a school off-day cos of the elections. GP midyear exam tomorrow.. i've no idea how to study for it. sighh.

oh great. the time of the month is here again.

i love you chrissy. <333 we all do.

whyyy. why must it always turn out this way. is that too much that i'm asking for?

when the going gets tough, the tough gets going.

2006-05-19T22:10:00.000+08:00

i think what's been bothering me the whole day long is the issue of my studies. probably the very fear of retaining. been doing real badly for my tests la. straight fail for all 3 H2 subjects for my CAs. in cj, CAs seem like such small things! the teacher just goes, for example, "the following monday you all are gonna have a chem test on chemical bonding okay." and the next thing you know, you're facing a chem paper on that very day which states 'CJC Continual Assessment 2' right smack on the front cover.. then it's too late to even scream ohmygosh.

it's only the first few months of jc and i'm already scoring so badly. now how am i to cope in the future when i'm gonna learn more topics and need to cramp up more stuffs in my pea brain? i wouldn't wanna even think of that. oh, and i underestimated GP. i think it's tougher than i thought.

Driving away from the wreck of the day
And it's finally quiet in my head
Driving alone, finally on my way home to d comfort of my bed
And if this is giving up, then I'm giving up
If this is giving up, then I'm giving up, giving up
On love, on love.

who gives two shits about you seriously?

2006-05-15T22:14:00.000+08:00

today the girls followed the guys down to tampines to cheer for them. they played against mjc.. it was such a close fight! 2-3! owell, at least they played quite well.

sigh. i don't know why i felt so horrible after that.. but i think i did over react. thank you haowen for being there for me.. and seeing my alter ego. haha sorry if i scared you. why should i give a damn about you? this is so stupid. it's not like i've been talking to you alot lately. so why am i so sensitive? haha. hmmm. silly me. okay this is dumb. i can't believe i'm blogging about this. let go means let go. why let shortiemartie (as nicknamed by haowen) affect you? those stuff happened 3 freaking years ago, but ended a year ago already. stupid jo. you're so stupid. you're so silly to be like this over again.

ninny: eeeeeeee what ARE you! hahaha.

down with fever! :(

2006-05-14T09:26:00.000+08:00

haha crap. on friday morning after gym session the night before, i fell sick. for lying to the doc for having flu on thurs, now i really have flu. i practically warmed up my whole bed till it was so hot, i woke myself up with my own body heat. i was so keen to play badminton that i told myself i wasn't having any fever. by the time we played finish, my feet was burning hot and i was feeling giddy already. lol. sigh. my dad says my racket's string tension is too high, no wonder it sucks. ha. went back home by noon and slept the whole day! and even through the night. that shows how tired i was. MI gang watched poseidon that day i think! booo! i wanna watch also lah, but i was burning and aching all over. sigh!

yday studied at brinda's again. lmao. the songs they play are HILARIOUS, seriously. songyao was there first, then yenkiat joined us, and finally after 2 hrs my FELLOW FRUIT BASKET FRIEND CHARMAINE came! teehee. she damn cute lah, got lost among the flats, and when she arrived she got damn frustrated cos she was initially at the ntuc right behind brinda's. sorry for giving unclear directions ribena! haa. anyways, haowen and pet pangseh-ed me totally. sigh, nevermind! and haowen i'm not pissed with you. ha ha. THEfriend doesn't bear grudges.

roar i'm still having fever, and now i'm having sore throat and runny nose as well. great. but feeling much better already. whee. might be going to metro warehouse sales later depending on my mood. till then..

I remember when you came with me that night
We said forever, that you would never let me go
But here I am again with nothing left inside
Know I don't wanna, but I gotta let you go.

sham: hehe changed already laa. (: i still love you!

The Perfect Ending.

2006-05-11T22:21:00.000+08:00

cjc badm girls are out already. yupp. lost to mjc that day. but it was a tough fight and good game i suppose. i guess there won't be a girls team anymore.. since there's like only 3 to 4 j1s.. and the j2s have already stopped cca to concentrate on their Alevels. quite sad la, when the girls team starts to get more bonded, it just has to close down. but, cj boys won once again! 5-0 to MI. haa. (: their down to top 8. we're so gonna see their final matches.

i don't know, and what ryan said is true. it's so unfair for jliu to make us sign a contract to prove that we promise to go for all trainings and morning runs, still attend cca for a short while even though you aren't feeling well that day, and provide proper mc if we really aren't well--- before competition. that's reasonable, but what now? competition has ended.. we all don't even know what's gonna happen to the girls team. i just thought of it and i really wonder to myself what's the use of us J1s going for so many of the trainings yet knowing badminton girls has 90% chance of closing down after competition ends? well, i guess for the love of the sport accompanied by great teammates. it's a pity it has to end like that. although i don't play well, i look forward to trainings or every time spent with the team. but, is it fair? they told us to get a substitute cca (yes we did), but so does that mean our efforts and hardwork in trainings have gone to waste? does that mean our attendance in badminton (3 trainings a week and morning runs on non-training days) have become nothing? are we still considered to have badminton as one of our cca in our cca record by the end of the year?

had my first vball cca training yesterday.. it was alright cos at least toi was with me! made 4 to 6 friends which are damn nice, but the rest are urm, shan't comment.. i don't know. all i know is the vball girls together doesn't feel like a team. not at all. yesterday made me realise how much i miss badminton. how much cooler and bonded the badm girls team are, and how much more fun the sport is. :( my hand has bruises all over! yikes. went home with serene and boy did we talked about many ppl. ahah.

todayyy, skipped school cos it was sports carnival and i wasn't involved in anything anyway. met ryan at parkway parade.. he too skipped. heh heh. tried to study at mos but failed horribly. okay i did read thru econs and attempted a math question in which i got stuck halfway. ah i suck la. we talked about badminton stuffs and all. haha funny shit la. ryan used to gimme the worse impression in my class, as an unfriendly stoner! and now he's like friendly and nice and he knows ppl like chinabird. -sniggers. i can't believe he was in the national badminton junior squad. ah well... what a waste he didn't continue to the youth squad. then he went off for training and i took bus down to sengkang to get mc from polyclinic and collect olevel cert with clique.. ended up all not going cos mr tan said the administrator went home and he doesn't know where our certs are kept. sigh! met sham at the polyclinic anyways! (: which was kind of uncalled for.

went back home by evening and went to The Pines club with dad and mom! used to gym with mom while dad went to swim.. haha the gym had no one lah. i shall go there often! it's free usage for me anyways. jogged 4km non-stop! yes i know some would think it's no big fat deal but it's an accomplishment for me cos i used to be a loser and get tired and all by 2.4km.. haha and this time by 4km i still felt great. jogged a total of 5km. yay. i know jogging on treadmills are less tiring than on track though.. guess that's bout it.. playing badminton with my dad tmr morning! hoho. till thenn.

Hello, good morning, how you do?
What makes your rising sun so new?
I could use a fresh beginning too,
all of my regrets are nothing new
So this is the way that I say I need You

This is the way that I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies